The Storyboard of Life: Or So We Think
We all have a story. A large repertoire of experiences that have created the definitions we give to life, people, situations and ourselves; our story board. This is our personal inner weaving of associated ideas, assumptions and attitudes serving to help us understand living. Cultivated initially by what we’ve learned from family and society and our reactions to life experiences, our storyboard is an essential tool to navigate both inner and outer realities. It is vital to our survival yet becomes a hindrance and obstacle when we live as if our storyboard is the complete truth and so are less open to other possibilities.
It’s for this reason that misunderstandings and misperceptions seem to be a more constant experience than communication, togetherness, and unity. Taking offense because of misperceived action, a word, a tone or a look occurs so quickly. I’ve heard it said that at least 90% of our interpretations of what we perceive are inaccurate, a result of a distorted lens through which we perceive. That we don’t see things as they are; we see how we are. Most of our perceptions are based on reaction not reflection, they are automatic and totally biased to fit to our story.
A sweet parable I recently read depicts this perfectly. A couple moves to a new neighborhood, the wife continually makes judgmental comments about her neighbors ‘dirty sheets’ that she sees weekly hanging on the line. Weeks later the sheets appear clean and she comments to her husband, ‘finally they have clean sheets’. ‘No my dear’, replies the husband, “I merely cleaned the windows’.
Personal perceptions are a very slippery slope. Too often conclusions are made without any real investigation. Something is triggered, we don’t like it, and it goes against a belief we hold, or appears to match a previous experience, so we make up some kind of story about the person or situation to not have to look deeper and to justify our beliefs. Yet it is simply a story in our head.
The fact is we are all human, we are all imperfect. We all live by an incomplete, and quite often entangled, storyboard that tends to give us a false sense of being better or knowing more. Were this not so, the rampant amount of gossip and judgment that prevails would not exist. Otherwise we would be o.k. with the fact that we are not all knowing, that we are just as imperfect as the person we are talking or thinking about and that no matter how much we may think we see and know, as long as we experience conflict, there are still many layers to every situation and person that we have yet to encounter and explore to see a more complete truth rather than the half truths we satisfy ourselves with. Expanding our vision and mind beyond the comfort zones of our storyboard removes all interest in pointing fingers, accusing, labeling or judging. Instead there exists a genuine willingness to explore, share and understand; qualities we all once embodied as children.
I can’t count how often I have been misperceived and misunderstood, and also vice versa, when all that stood in the way of connecting was taking the time to inquire, put conclusions aside to reflect and uncover the deeper truth. Fortunately I have had the opposite experience too, where the time was taken and then magic happens. The magic being, touching the depth of what is possible when two people explore what is true in innocence, vulnerability and a sincere desire to meet.
That is one of my most favorite experiences of all because a whole new world is opened of intimacy, freedom to be and of love. It lays down the walls of protection and defenses that otherwise stifle and restrict.
In massage school, there was a lady in my class who I could feel had something against me. I observed it and wondered. The end of the training came, all that was left were the practical exams and still we had not worked together. Surprisingly I noticed a shift in her energy towards me. I thought ‘great!’ and went up to her and asked her if she wanted to do the exam together. She said yes. I told my teacher and he said, “well you know she has issues with you, I suggest you talk to her about that first.” I went to her and told her what he said and asked her if she was willing to share before we partner up. She laughed and said’ oh ya, you really ticked me off, but then I uncovered my story and it dissolved.’ She told me how it irritated her that I always asked for what I needed. She thought to herself ‘who does she think she is?’ Then she asked herself why it bothered her so much and a light went on, she realized it was because she didn’t give herself permission to do the same. It was an amazing experience for both of us. In the end the only thing between us was warmth and gratitude. She took the time to investigate, if she hadn’t, and if I hadn’t been open for other possibilities we would have missed out on a great connection. An interesting element in this is that for me to have come to a place of feeling o.k. to ask for what I needed was a huge accomplishment. The result of previous traumas had denied me of that right for most of my life until then. We never know the experiences that make a person until we look deeper.
It does take two though to make it happen. When one is still projecting a story, the force field created is impenetrable, like the saying “the tension is so thick…’. When I witness someone seeing me with eyes tainted by a story, no matter how I try on my end to share or reveal who I am I have realized it is futile unless they step out of the story. So what’s left for me to do is disengage, let it be what it is and do my best to maintain a good space in me regardless. We can’t control what others choose to perceive, we can only let go, see the humanity in it, bless it and move on.
With an open mind and heart grievances can be resolved, wounds can heal. The basic qualities of goodness, honesty, kindness and self-reflection are the remedy.
If we are ever to create peace on earth as we claim to want, it starts here, with me, with you, being accountable for our feelings and reactions, dropping the stories that feed separation, violence and judgment. We all need to do our part to restore that which is good, clean up our stories, be accountable, make peace, and extend friendship and love, even when it’s hard, for that’s when it counts the most. As Gandhi says, ‘Be the Change you want to see in the world.’ And it will change.
We all have a story. A large repertoire of experiences that have created the definitions we give to life, people, situations and ourselves; our story board. This is our personal inner weaving of associated ideas, assumptions and attitudes serving to help us understand living. Cultivated initially by what we’ve learned from family and society and our reactions to life experiences, our storyboard is an essential tool to navigate both inner and outer realities. It is vital to our survival yet becomes a hindrance and obstacle when we live as if our storyboard is the complete truth and so are less open to other possibilities.
It’s for this reason that misunderstandings and misperceptions seem to be a more constant experience than communication, togetherness, and unity. Taking offense because of misperceived action, a word, a tone or a look occurs so quickly. I’ve heard it said that at least 90% of our interpretations of what we perceive are inaccurate, a result of a distorted lens through which we perceive. That we don’t see things as they are; we see how we are. Most of our perceptions are based on reaction not reflection, they are automatic and totally biased to fit to our story.
A sweet parable I recently read depicts this perfectly. A couple moves to a new neighborhood, the wife continually makes judgmental comments about her neighbors ‘dirty sheets’ that she sees weekly hanging on the line. Weeks later the sheets appear clean and she comments to her husband, ‘finally they have clean sheets’. ‘No my dear’, replies the husband, “I merely cleaned the windows’.
Personal perceptions are a very slippery slope. Too often conclusions are made without any real investigation. Something is triggered, we don’t like it, and it goes against a belief we hold, or appears to match a previous experience, so we make up some kind of story about the person or situation to not have to look deeper and to justify our beliefs. Yet it is simply a story in our head.
The fact is we are all human, we are all imperfect. We all live by an incomplete, and quite often entangled, storyboard that tends to give us a false sense of being better or knowing more. Were this not so, the rampant amount of gossip and judgment that prevails would not exist. Otherwise we would be o.k. with the fact that we are not all knowing, that we are just as imperfect as the person we are talking or thinking about and that no matter how much we may think we see and know, as long as we experience conflict, there are still many layers to every situation and person that we have yet to encounter and explore to see a more complete truth rather than the half truths we satisfy ourselves with. Expanding our vision and mind beyond the comfort zones of our storyboard removes all interest in pointing fingers, accusing, labeling or judging. Instead there exists a genuine willingness to explore, share and understand; qualities we all once embodied as children.
I can’t count how often I have been misperceived and misunderstood, and also vice versa, when all that stood in the way of connecting was taking the time to inquire, put conclusions aside to reflect and uncover the deeper truth. Fortunately I have had the opposite experience too, where the time was taken and then magic happens. The magic being, touching the depth of what is possible when two people explore what is true in innocence, vulnerability and a sincere desire to meet.
That is one of my most favorite experiences of all because a whole new world is opened of intimacy, freedom to be and of love. It lays down the walls of protection and defenses that otherwise stifle and restrict.
In massage school, there was a lady in my class who I could feel had something against me. I observed it and wondered. The end of the training came, all that was left were the practical exams and still we had not worked together. Surprisingly I noticed a shift in her energy towards me. I thought ‘great!’ and went up to her and asked her if she wanted to do the exam together. She said yes. I told my teacher and he said, “well you know she has issues with you, I suggest you talk to her about that first.” I went to her and told her what he said and asked her if she was willing to share before we partner up. She laughed and said’ oh ya, you really ticked me off, but then I uncovered my story and it dissolved.’ She told me how it irritated her that I always asked for what I needed. She thought to herself ‘who does she think she is?’ Then she asked herself why it bothered her so much and a light went on, she realized it was because she didn’t give herself permission to do the same. It was an amazing experience for both of us. In the end the only thing between us was warmth and gratitude. She took the time to investigate, if she hadn’t, and if I hadn’t been open for other possibilities we would have missed out on a great connection. An interesting element in this is that for me to have come to a place of feeling o.k. to ask for what I needed was a huge accomplishment. The result of previous traumas had denied me of that right for most of my life until then. We never know the experiences that make a person until we look deeper.
It does take two though to make it happen. When one is still projecting a story, the force field created is impenetrable, like the saying “the tension is so thick…’. When I witness someone seeing me with eyes tainted by a story, no matter how I try on my end to share or reveal who I am I have realized it is futile unless they step out of the story. So what’s left for me to do is disengage, let it be what it is and do my best to maintain a good space in me regardless. We can’t control what others choose to perceive, we can only let go, see the humanity in it, bless it and move on.
With an open mind and heart grievances can be resolved, wounds can heal. The basic qualities of goodness, honesty, kindness and self-reflection are the remedy.
If we are ever to create peace on earth as we claim to want, it starts here, with me, with you, being accountable for our feelings and reactions, dropping the stories that feed separation, violence and judgment. We all need to do our part to restore that which is good, clean up our stories, be accountable, make peace, and extend friendship and love, even when it’s hard, for that’s when it counts the most. As Gandhi says, ‘Be the Change you want to see in the world.’ And it will change.
Ho’oponopono- A Way of Forgiveness
Having received such encouraging feedback from my last article “Storyboard of Life” I am going to venture sharing some more thoughts and insights about the nature of conflict and approaches that can bridge differences rather than building walls that perpetuate them.
The last paragraph of that article was a call for action… “If we are ever to create peace on earth as we claim to want, it starts here, with me, with you, being accountable for our feelings and reactions, dropping the stories that feed separation, violence and judgment. We all need to do our part to restore that which is good, clean up our stories, be accountable, make peace, and extend friendship and love, even when it’s hard, for that’s when it counts the most. As Gandhi says, ‘Be the Change you want to see in the world.’ And it will change.”
So how do we do that? What does that action look like? Is it really possible?
What makes it possible is simply being willing to expand our perceptions to include more than our ideas, wants and needs, to consider the others existence rather than focusing only on our own. Take a deep breath. In this space, forgiveness is effortless.
The moment I am willing to see more than what I can presently see, when I admit that my perception is biased to my story and drama, a door opens in me and a new beam of light can enter in and illuminate my vision. But first I have to be willing; willing to let go of my need to be right. Let go of my need to prove and defend my case. Let go of my need to judge and so make myself better than another. I need to be willing to serve love and goodness rather than anger and violence.
Rumi has a beautiful poem to reflect that state of willingness. “Far beyond the reaches of right and wrong, there is a field, I will meet you there.” There is a deep quality of love and humility in that statement. That is what is needed, anything less perpetuates and encourages the human drama of violent action. Take a deep breath.
Are you, who are reading this, willing to go there? To extend your beliefs beyond right and wrong to restore love? To bridge differences that cause painful separation with people, family and friends you once loved and shared laughter with? Or do you need to stand cemented in your beliefs, fighting to the death to prove you are right and only your way and perception counts? The latter is the easy way out. It doesn’t demand any self reflection or work, and is unfortunately the most common trodden path on the planet. Whereas the former demands a lot of work and time to uncover what is not so obvious, to reveal the insights needed to understand ourselves and another.
Guess which action bares the harvest we all hunger for… Are you willing? That is the question that needs to be investigated and answered before any other movement can take place. Make your choice and live by it. For in essence it is all about choice, for which only I am responsible. I choose to direct my inner compass towards understanding or towards resentment and that choice creates the momentum that feeds and creates my reality. It’s very simple. If I am not reaping the harvest I want than I need to take a closer look at my actions and choices that are creating the reality I am in.
If a farmer doesn’t tend to every little detail and every stage of growth in their fields, how can he expect to get the best crop ever? It’s the same principle in human relationships, both with self and others. We are each a garden, an eco system with many sub eco systems, unique and sovereign. I need to educate myself on what best serves the various eco systems within me and those who I am close to in order to respect and take care appropriately so that we can all grow and reap a good harvest. I need to be willing to see that not all eco systems are like mine and stop expecting them to be.
Ho’oponopono is an ancient practice of Forgiveness from Hawaii, a practice that has genuinely helped me to go deeper into the hurts and pains that once clouded my vision that caused me to be hurtful and self righteous unintentionally in response to hurtful events. It’s a form of conflict resolution to keep harmony and peace. The foundation of Ho’oponopono is that all beings are in essence equal and innocent and are acts of Creation/God, so no one is above or below another. We meet in our mutual humanity as equals, which immediately subdues the need to dominate or control another with our judgments and need to be right. The sovereignty and validity of each human experience is respected and honored. Wow! Imagine meeting everyone like that? Where would there be conflict?
Even if someone doesn’t match me and my needs, it is not dependant on how they choose to meet me or not. It’s about me relating to the conflict in me and clearing it. And here’s the kicker from which no ego can escape; that I am responsible for everything in my world, that everything outside of me is a reflection of something in me.
Take a deep breath. There are many layers of understanding behind that statement to explore.
It is the simple understanding that all things in creation are governed by the Law of Resonance and Magnetism. Like attracts like, both in the positive and the negative. If my wound or belief is that I am unworthy of love than I will perpetually attract people that are not able to love me and will perhaps abuse me… my pattern is confirmed and sealed as is theirs. It’s a perfect match. (I speak from experience here!)
For me, that reflection of truth continually empowers me to make the changes I need to heal and create the reality I want by going deep and owning my part in every painful and traumatic experience I have lived through. As long as I am playing the victim and blaming everything outside of me for my woes, I am trapped and will keep recreating the same situations that confirm my patterns and victimhood. Nothing will change. The walls of resentment and judgment will only get thicker. Growth and expansion of my heart is no longer a possibility. If I want love to fill my life I need to create it within me. I need to claim my sovereignty and inner authority to change and affect my life for the better. It all starts with me. My favorite line in a 90’s club song is ‘Love cannot remain as long as you complain.’ Another good one, ‘When you accuse you lose.’ Think about it.
I love you. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank-you.
These declarations are the key to Ho’oponopono. I love you, to the act of Creation/God that is you. I am sorry, for my part in this conflict. Please forgive me, for my hurtful thoughts, actions and deeds that have fed the separation of our hearts. Thank-you, expressing gratitude for the healing… knowing that by this action, it is done.
This is practiced internally as a way to claim our accountability and redirect our focus to a more constructive and loving way of perceiving and resolving conflict within ourselves first and foremost. Then it ripples to the outer. ‘Be the change you want to see in the world.’ Ho’oponopono is a definite clear path we can explore and embody, regardless of faith, religion or creed, to do just that. Try it. Love is always a better harvest. Nourish your garden well. Aloha.
Having received such encouraging feedback from my last article “Storyboard of Life” I am going to venture sharing some more thoughts and insights about the nature of conflict and approaches that can bridge differences rather than building walls that perpetuate them.
The last paragraph of that article was a call for action… “If we are ever to create peace on earth as we claim to want, it starts here, with me, with you, being accountable for our feelings and reactions, dropping the stories that feed separation, violence and judgment. We all need to do our part to restore that which is good, clean up our stories, be accountable, make peace, and extend friendship and love, even when it’s hard, for that’s when it counts the most. As Gandhi says, ‘Be the Change you want to see in the world.’ And it will change.”
So how do we do that? What does that action look like? Is it really possible?
What makes it possible is simply being willing to expand our perceptions to include more than our ideas, wants and needs, to consider the others existence rather than focusing only on our own. Take a deep breath. In this space, forgiveness is effortless.
The moment I am willing to see more than what I can presently see, when I admit that my perception is biased to my story and drama, a door opens in me and a new beam of light can enter in and illuminate my vision. But first I have to be willing; willing to let go of my need to be right. Let go of my need to prove and defend my case. Let go of my need to judge and so make myself better than another. I need to be willing to serve love and goodness rather than anger and violence.
Rumi has a beautiful poem to reflect that state of willingness. “Far beyond the reaches of right and wrong, there is a field, I will meet you there.” There is a deep quality of love and humility in that statement. That is what is needed, anything less perpetuates and encourages the human drama of violent action. Take a deep breath.
Are you, who are reading this, willing to go there? To extend your beliefs beyond right and wrong to restore love? To bridge differences that cause painful separation with people, family and friends you once loved and shared laughter with? Or do you need to stand cemented in your beliefs, fighting to the death to prove you are right and only your way and perception counts? The latter is the easy way out. It doesn’t demand any self reflection or work, and is unfortunately the most common trodden path on the planet. Whereas the former demands a lot of work and time to uncover what is not so obvious, to reveal the insights needed to understand ourselves and another.
Guess which action bares the harvest we all hunger for… Are you willing? That is the question that needs to be investigated and answered before any other movement can take place. Make your choice and live by it. For in essence it is all about choice, for which only I am responsible. I choose to direct my inner compass towards understanding or towards resentment and that choice creates the momentum that feeds and creates my reality. It’s very simple. If I am not reaping the harvest I want than I need to take a closer look at my actions and choices that are creating the reality I am in.
If a farmer doesn’t tend to every little detail and every stage of growth in their fields, how can he expect to get the best crop ever? It’s the same principle in human relationships, both with self and others. We are each a garden, an eco system with many sub eco systems, unique and sovereign. I need to educate myself on what best serves the various eco systems within me and those who I am close to in order to respect and take care appropriately so that we can all grow and reap a good harvest. I need to be willing to see that not all eco systems are like mine and stop expecting them to be.
Ho’oponopono is an ancient practice of Forgiveness from Hawaii, a practice that has genuinely helped me to go deeper into the hurts and pains that once clouded my vision that caused me to be hurtful and self righteous unintentionally in response to hurtful events. It’s a form of conflict resolution to keep harmony and peace. The foundation of Ho’oponopono is that all beings are in essence equal and innocent and are acts of Creation/God, so no one is above or below another. We meet in our mutual humanity as equals, which immediately subdues the need to dominate or control another with our judgments and need to be right. The sovereignty and validity of each human experience is respected and honored. Wow! Imagine meeting everyone like that? Where would there be conflict?
Even if someone doesn’t match me and my needs, it is not dependant on how they choose to meet me or not. It’s about me relating to the conflict in me and clearing it. And here’s the kicker from which no ego can escape; that I am responsible for everything in my world, that everything outside of me is a reflection of something in me.
Take a deep breath. There are many layers of understanding behind that statement to explore.
It is the simple understanding that all things in creation are governed by the Law of Resonance and Magnetism. Like attracts like, both in the positive and the negative. If my wound or belief is that I am unworthy of love than I will perpetually attract people that are not able to love me and will perhaps abuse me… my pattern is confirmed and sealed as is theirs. It’s a perfect match. (I speak from experience here!)
For me, that reflection of truth continually empowers me to make the changes I need to heal and create the reality I want by going deep and owning my part in every painful and traumatic experience I have lived through. As long as I am playing the victim and blaming everything outside of me for my woes, I am trapped and will keep recreating the same situations that confirm my patterns and victimhood. Nothing will change. The walls of resentment and judgment will only get thicker. Growth and expansion of my heart is no longer a possibility. If I want love to fill my life I need to create it within me. I need to claim my sovereignty and inner authority to change and affect my life for the better. It all starts with me. My favorite line in a 90’s club song is ‘Love cannot remain as long as you complain.’ Another good one, ‘When you accuse you lose.’ Think about it.
I love you. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank-you.
These declarations are the key to Ho’oponopono. I love you, to the act of Creation/God that is you. I am sorry, for my part in this conflict. Please forgive me, for my hurtful thoughts, actions and deeds that have fed the separation of our hearts. Thank-you, expressing gratitude for the healing… knowing that by this action, it is done.
This is practiced internally as a way to claim our accountability and redirect our focus to a more constructive and loving way of perceiving and resolving conflict within ourselves first and foremost. Then it ripples to the outer. ‘Be the change you want to see in the world.’ Ho’oponopono is a definite clear path we can explore and embody, regardless of faith, religion or creed, to do just that. Try it. Love is always a better harvest. Nourish your garden well. Aloha.
Conflict as Catalyst
Have you ever noticed how all the shows and movies we love so much are generally in essence about human conflict, in one form or other, with oneself or another? It’s all about overcoming challenges, rising above adversity, learning forgiveness and how to love. We never see movies where everything is always harmonious, in sync or ‘perfect’, there’s always something going wrong before it gets better.
As observers of the movie or show, we see clearly where the misperceptions and misinterpretations have taken place that created the conflict or misunderstanding that is being presented. We watch in great suspense and hope that the characters will finally see what’s really going on and that what is true will come to light. It’s classic and it’s a theme repeated over and over again in each new production, different storyline but the same plot. They depict the varying degrees of conflict we all encounter in life…, and we never seem to tire of it. Millions of dollars are spent every year to watch the human drama play itself out on film. I find this an interesting phenomenon. Soap operas for example, present strife, intrigue and deceit one after the other, as do most movies. We seem to love watching conflict, yet, in daily life it is generally looked down on as a ‘bad’ thing.
Now, what would happen, if I shift my perception a few degrees and see signals of conflict, as serving a greater purpose? What if I adopt the view that conflict is an opportunity to learn and grow, and in doing so, stretch myself beyond what I think I see and know? Hmmm… It would definitely redirect my awareness and help develop deeper clarity and intimacy with myself and others. It would also enable me to gain a broader view, where I can be the observer of my own movie. Then conflict can be an opportunity for me, to know me.
In times when I have found myself tripping up in conflict, in the end, after looking deeper, I always catch up with myself and realize that like’ Ferdinand the Nearsighted Bull’ I was merely chasing exaggerations/ phantoms of my own creation. Also, like Ferdinand, I have trampled many a flower, reacting to a buzzing irritation I could not see, and so could not understand or appreciate, until I had new lenses to see.
The teachings of Ho’oponopono, that I shared in the last article, are like a basic recipe. Each conflict we experience consists of different ingredients. Some are simple and easy to resolve. Some are more complex. Often conflict can trigger deep wounds or unresolved pain, and so require more time and skill to master. Ho’oponopono is not a result oriented technique. It is a practice, a path, a journey. Some conflicts can be resolved in moments, others in days, months or years. What’s important is what I am choosing in each moment, and that I remain accountable for my reactions. Sometimes we need to get totally caught up in the conflict, so that the relics of the past, that are at its root, can get churned up and brought to the surface. That is an important part of the process, because it’s only when the wounds surface, that they can begin to heal. What’s needed, is permission to let that ugliness be what it is, so that we can evolve and grow. Until we allow and validate this process, we are suppressing and constricting what is true, and that, can only lead to dis-ease!
Conflict can be messy, painful, and is most often irrational. Perceiving it as only that has created a natural tendency to avoid it, put on airs, deflect and deny rather than meeting it. One reason for this tendency is we don’t have the tools to embrace and accept it. Why would I go into the dark without a flashlight? Another is that it’s taboo to show weaknesses and faults. The fear of not being good enough dominates. This tends to translate as being unlovable and unworthy. It is also due to the fast pace of living, where the time isn’t given or taken to engage conflict wholly. Also, freedom and permission doesn’t seem to exist in our awareness to allow the process of sorting and uncovering the genuine source of discord we are experiencing. These are the murky areas, where the answers and understanding have not yet formed.
Resolving conflict within and without is a delicate process, especially when old wounds are triggered. Unfortunately, most often, if the result isn’t immediately obvious, the result oriented mind becomes frustrated and condemning. We, here in the west, have definitely been primed that way. Patience is not our strong suit, even less so, in this era of entitlement and convenience than ever before. Everything has to be Now!
The seed sprouts in the dark. Many things develop and happen, before we see the evidence of it in the first shoot that comes through. It’s the same with personal growth and healing. Sometimes we need to retreat into the dark in order to grow. We need time. Not allowing this process, and so suppressing natural emotions, or forcing an outcome, is unhealthy. The amount of people dealing with depression and anxiety is a reflection of these suppressions. The dark feelings and experiences need to have permission and acceptance, to simply be. And through that ‘being’, they find their natural process, of healing and growth, like the seed.
Conflict in itself is not the total source of the pain we experience when in conflict. It’s the triggers that are linked to past pain and the original reactions that take over, and so distort our ability to meet the new situation in a clear and coherent way. Understanding this invites compassion and the ‘effortless’ movement towards forgiveness mentioned in the last article.
For me recognizing conflict as a catalyst for healing, metaphorically, is like having a compass at sea. It gives me direction and purpose. When I find myself caught in swells bigger than my little boat, where I’m tossed around and disoriented, I can follow the arrow of my emotional compass to stay on track. The compass shows me the clearest route to resolution. It shows me my options, the directions available to me. In essence there are really only two directions to choose from when in conflict; towards love and freedom, or towards hate and hurt. One path evolves me, while the other keeps me trapped in a loop of pain. From these two directions there are several pathways that augment and establish the choice made. Sometimes we need to enter the hurt and hate within, what’s important is the knowing that I choose where I go with it, whether I feel it to heal it or I dwell and fester in it. When I am using my experience/expression of hurt and hate to go deep into myself and grow, then even that is a movement towards love. Healing takes the time it takes and most often, we get dirty in the process. Allowing that to be as it is let’s us breathe and helps us give others the room to breathe as well.
Using a ‘compass’ does not mean my life will be conflict free. It means I can choose a path, that, when followed, always reveals a deeper truth and enables the possibility of growth. The compass is one of my main ‘tools’. Tools are practices, affirmations, knowledge, etc., that help me to stay focused and steady when I am under the influence of emotional triggers. Knowledge brings light, as the Hebrew say. It also brings power to reshape reality. ‘ Tools’ encourage focus and the ability to act constructively and effectively. Finding the tools that work is the key, using them is the next one. I may have the tools I need to build a house but I have to pick them up and use them to do so. It takes practice. Sometimes it works better than others. Messing up at times is part of the learning. It’s all o.k. Keep building! That’s a key message of Ho’opono pono.
We are human, capable of extraordinary beauty and also terrible nightmares. It’s the same package of possibilities open to each of us. The governing factor is choice. Evolving beyond the reactions of this duality depends first on accepting it. It’s not always easy, but it’s always possible.
Three Hawaiian principles that I love are:
1. There is always another way to be, perceive or do anything-there is no ‘one way’ of doing things right; all perceptions are arbitrary.
2.Where my attention goes energy flows-thoughts are energy, they form reality.
3. Effectiveness is the measure of truth-if it works keep doing it, if not find what does. Aloha.
Have you ever noticed how all the shows and movies we love so much are generally in essence about human conflict, in one form or other, with oneself or another? It’s all about overcoming challenges, rising above adversity, learning forgiveness and how to love. We never see movies where everything is always harmonious, in sync or ‘perfect’, there’s always something going wrong before it gets better.
As observers of the movie or show, we see clearly where the misperceptions and misinterpretations have taken place that created the conflict or misunderstanding that is being presented. We watch in great suspense and hope that the characters will finally see what’s really going on and that what is true will come to light. It’s classic and it’s a theme repeated over and over again in each new production, different storyline but the same plot. They depict the varying degrees of conflict we all encounter in life…, and we never seem to tire of it. Millions of dollars are spent every year to watch the human drama play itself out on film. I find this an interesting phenomenon. Soap operas for example, present strife, intrigue and deceit one after the other, as do most movies. We seem to love watching conflict, yet, in daily life it is generally looked down on as a ‘bad’ thing.
Now, what would happen, if I shift my perception a few degrees and see signals of conflict, as serving a greater purpose? What if I adopt the view that conflict is an opportunity to learn and grow, and in doing so, stretch myself beyond what I think I see and know? Hmmm… It would definitely redirect my awareness and help develop deeper clarity and intimacy with myself and others. It would also enable me to gain a broader view, where I can be the observer of my own movie. Then conflict can be an opportunity for me, to know me.
In times when I have found myself tripping up in conflict, in the end, after looking deeper, I always catch up with myself and realize that like’ Ferdinand the Nearsighted Bull’ I was merely chasing exaggerations/ phantoms of my own creation. Also, like Ferdinand, I have trampled many a flower, reacting to a buzzing irritation I could not see, and so could not understand or appreciate, until I had new lenses to see.
The teachings of Ho’oponopono, that I shared in the last article, are like a basic recipe. Each conflict we experience consists of different ingredients. Some are simple and easy to resolve. Some are more complex. Often conflict can trigger deep wounds or unresolved pain, and so require more time and skill to master. Ho’oponopono is not a result oriented technique. It is a practice, a path, a journey. Some conflicts can be resolved in moments, others in days, months or years. What’s important is what I am choosing in each moment, and that I remain accountable for my reactions. Sometimes we need to get totally caught up in the conflict, so that the relics of the past, that are at its root, can get churned up and brought to the surface. That is an important part of the process, because it’s only when the wounds surface, that they can begin to heal. What’s needed, is permission to let that ugliness be what it is, so that we can evolve and grow. Until we allow and validate this process, we are suppressing and constricting what is true, and that, can only lead to dis-ease!
Conflict can be messy, painful, and is most often irrational. Perceiving it as only that has created a natural tendency to avoid it, put on airs, deflect and deny rather than meeting it. One reason for this tendency is we don’t have the tools to embrace and accept it. Why would I go into the dark without a flashlight? Another is that it’s taboo to show weaknesses and faults. The fear of not being good enough dominates. This tends to translate as being unlovable and unworthy. It is also due to the fast pace of living, where the time isn’t given or taken to engage conflict wholly. Also, freedom and permission doesn’t seem to exist in our awareness to allow the process of sorting and uncovering the genuine source of discord we are experiencing. These are the murky areas, where the answers and understanding have not yet formed.
Resolving conflict within and without is a delicate process, especially when old wounds are triggered. Unfortunately, most often, if the result isn’t immediately obvious, the result oriented mind becomes frustrated and condemning. We, here in the west, have definitely been primed that way. Patience is not our strong suit, even less so, in this era of entitlement and convenience than ever before. Everything has to be Now!
The seed sprouts in the dark. Many things develop and happen, before we see the evidence of it in the first shoot that comes through. It’s the same with personal growth and healing. Sometimes we need to retreat into the dark in order to grow. We need time. Not allowing this process, and so suppressing natural emotions, or forcing an outcome, is unhealthy. The amount of people dealing with depression and anxiety is a reflection of these suppressions. The dark feelings and experiences need to have permission and acceptance, to simply be. And through that ‘being’, they find their natural process, of healing and growth, like the seed.
Conflict in itself is not the total source of the pain we experience when in conflict. It’s the triggers that are linked to past pain and the original reactions that take over, and so distort our ability to meet the new situation in a clear and coherent way. Understanding this invites compassion and the ‘effortless’ movement towards forgiveness mentioned in the last article.
For me recognizing conflict as a catalyst for healing, metaphorically, is like having a compass at sea. It gives me direction and purpose. When I find myself caught in swells bigger than my little boat, where I’m tossed around and disoriented, I can follow the arrow of my emotional compass to stay on track. The compass shows me the clearest route to resolution. It shows me my options, the directions available to me. In essence there are really only two directions to choose from when in conflict; towards love and freedom, or towards hate and hurt. One path evolves me, while the other keeps me trapped in a loop of pain. From these two directions there are several pathways that augment and establish the choice made. Sometimes we need to enter the hurt and hate within, what’s important is the knowing that I choose where I go with it, whether I feel it to heal it or I dwell and fester in it. When I am using my experience/expression of hurt and hate to go deep into myself and grow, then even that is a movement towards love. Healing takes the time it takes and most often, we get dirty in the process. Allowing that to be as it is let’s us breathe and helps us give others the room to breathe as well.
Using a ‘compass’ does not mean my life will be conflict free. It means I can choose a path, that, when followed, always reveals a deeper truth and enables the possibility of growth. The compass is one of my main ‘tools’. Tools are practices, affirmations, knowledge, etc., that help me to stay focused and steady when I am under the influence of emotional triggers. Knowledge brings light, as the Hebrew say. It also brings power to reshape reality. ‘ Tools’ encourage focus and the ability to act constructively and effectively. Finding the tools that work is the key, using them is the next one. I may have the tools I need to build a house but I have to pick them up and use them to do so. It takes practice. Sometimes it works better than others. Messing up at times is part of the learning. It’s all o.k. Keep building! That’s a key message of Ho’opono pono.
We are human, capable of extraordinary beauty and also terrible nightmares. It’s the same package of possibilities open to each of us. The governing factor is choice. Evolving beyond the reactions of this duality depends first on accepting it. It’s not always easy, but it’s always possible.
Three Hawaiian principles that I love are:
1. There is always another way to be, perceive or do anything-there is no ‘one way’ of doing things right; all perceptions are arbitrary.
2.Where my attention goes energy flows-thoughts are energy, they form reality.
3. Effectiveness is the measure of truth-if it works keep doing it, if not find what does. Aloha.
The One Right Way!?...
I recently re-read an amazing book that crossed my path several years ago. The title is ISHMAEL, by Daniel Quinn. I had had a memory of really liking it, even though I didn’t finish it, but I couldn’t remember why. Well, it blew me away this time. For those of you who know it, as I have found many do, you may have been touched by the reflections of the history, as perceived by ISHMAEL, of ‘modern civilization’. The story covers a lot of territory in awakening the mind to think, observe and ask questions that one may otherwise not engage, about human nature and the battles we all seem to be caught up in, both globally and personally.
He introduces the effect of Memes indirectly in ISHMAEL and more directly in his book New Civilization. Memes are considered to be a collection of values, concepts, rules and preferences that, taken together, form the general belief systems of a culture. The Science of Memetics was proposed by Richard Dawkins in his book ‘The Selfish Gene’. He describes memes as the cultural equivalent to a gene. Dawkins proposes that memes replicate themselves in much the same way as genes do. Genes are passed on through reproduction, while memes reproduce by repetition from mind to mind through communication. Cultural memes, which become personal memes, are introduced, transmitted and strengthened by fairy tales, jokes, television, advertisements, gossip, song lyrics, etc. They form our beliefs that govern how we perceive reality. An amazing study, indeed. More recently Richard Brodie went deeper into this study in his book ‘ Virus of The Mind’.
Memes can either be useful, neutral or harmful. An example of a neutral meme is a cute story where a young girl notices her mother cutting off the two ends of a roast before placing it in the pan. She asks why. Her mother replies that it makes the roast juicier, that it’s how grandma and great grandma have always cooked roast. This didn’t make sense to the little girl so when she was visiting her grandma she asked her why she did that and got the same answer. Then when she visited her great grandma she asked again and told her what she had been told. The great grandmother laughed and said that in her generation they had to cut off the ends because the pans were too small. This is how beliefs, memes, perpetuate. If they remain uninvestigated we quite possibly end up misinformed.
In the book ISHMAEL observations are shared in regards to a meme that has been governing mankind for quite some time now, a meme that has proven harmful to all life. It’s the meme that ‘man is here to have dominion over the Earth and all creation. ’ In Pastor Bruce Sanguins book ‘Darwin, Divinity, and the Dance of the Cosmos’ he shares that in Genesis there are two stories of creation from different periods. The one version is that man is here to ‘dominate and subdue nature’ whereas in the first earlier creation story man is a steward of the earth who tends to the garden, that he is one with and an intricate part of the natural world. Where would we be now if the original version was our guide/meme?
The tendency behind the creation of memes is that of trying to define what’s good, bad, right or wrong. We use them to give us direction, purpose and meaning. There’s nothing wrong with that. They only become destructive and hurtful when they allow no other options. We really don’t know why we are here or what we are doing. So we make things up trying to find our place and purpose in this vast universe. To feel safe and secure we need to feel that we ‘know’ what’s right. The Mystery of life appears to be too great and scary for us otherwise. The fact is that we will only ever know partial truths. When I accept and surrender to the Mystery, acknowledging I don’t know much really, then I don’t have to fight with someone who has a different meme. I can choose to be curious and explore if I want. Live and let Live. Why does everyone have to do, be and think the same? Where’s the fun in that? Yet that seems to be what is expected.
So how do we bridge the gaps that create the ‘battlefield of the memes? In the movie ‘ Into The Wild’ there was a final statement that really stuck with me. It was ‘… to call a thing by its right name.’ When I know what something is I can take right action. Memes are not ultimate reality, they are personal and cultural, and it’s o.k. for them to differ. There is no One Right Way to be or live. Trying to claim that can only breed conflict and discord. Call it by its right name. A meme! When I recognize this I can be more open and receptive to the people and world around me. I can actually meet the person in front of me rather than my projections created by my memes. It’s impossible to share what’s real and in our hearts when holding ‘meme pistols’ at each other.
To meet in the heart, I have to step out of myself, my memes, for new understanding and possibilities to unfold. It is hard work to do this, undoubtedly, for the intoxication of reaction, protecting our memes, is so seducing, and temporarily gives us such a strong sense of self, that it’s a hard drug to give up. But the drug of love and real meeting is far better and has no bad side effects! It just takes more effort.
All systems and beliefs are arbitrary, as understood in Hawaiian culture. Feel the freedom in that. Feel the possibilities that open when looking at life through that lens. This is a useful meme, one that encourages growth and freedom for all! Sounds good to me! Aloha.
I recently re-read an amazing book that crossed my path several years ago. The title is ISHMAEL, by Daniel Quinn. I had had a memory of really liking it, even though I didn’t finish it, but I couldn’t remember why. Well, it blew me away this time. For those of you who know it, as I have found many do, you may have been touched by the reflections of the history, as perceived by ISHMAEL, of ‘modern civilization’. The story covers a lot of territory in awakening the mind to think, observe and ask questions that one may otherwise not engage, about human nature and the battles we all seem to be caught up in, both globally and personally.
He introduces the effect of Memes indirectly in ISHMAEL and more directly in his book New Civilization. Memes are considered to be a collection of values, concepts, rules and preferences that, taken together, form the general belief systems of a culture. The Science of Memetics was proposed by Richard Dawkins in his book ‘The Selfish Gene’. He describes memes as the cultural equivalent to a gene. Dawkins proposes that memes replicate themselves in much the same way as genes do. Genes are passed on through reproduction, while memes reproduce by repetition from mind to mind through communication. Cultural memes, which become personal memes, are introduced, transmitted and strengthened by fairy tales, jokes, television, advertisements, gossip, song lyrics, etc. They form our beliefs that govern how we perceive reality. An amazing study, indeed. More recently Richard Brodie went deeper into this study in his book ‘ Virus of The Mind’.
Memes can either be useful, neutral or harmful. An example of a neutral meme is a cute story where a young girl notices her mother cutting off the two ends of a roast before placing it in the pan. She asks why. Her mother replies that it makes the roast juicier, that it’s how grandma and great grandma have always cooked roast. This didn’t make sense to the little girl so when she was visiting her grandma she asked her why she did that and got the same answer. Then when she visited her great grandma she asked again and told her what she had been told. The great grandmother laughed and said that in her generation they had to cut off the ends because the pans were too small. This is how beliefs, memes, perpetuate. If they remain uninvestigated we quite possibly end up misinformed.
In the book ISHMAEL observations are shared in regards to a meme that has been governing mankind for quite some time now, a meme that has proven harmful to all life. It’s the meme that ‘man is here to have dominion over the Earth and all creation. ’ In Pastor Bruce Sanguins book ‘Darwin, Divinity, and the Dance of the Cosmos’ he shares that in Genesis there are two stories of creation from different periods. The one version is that man is here to ‘dominate and subdue nature’ whereas in the first earlier creation story man is a steward of the earth who tends to the garden, that he is one with and an intricate part of the natural world. Where would we be now if the original version was our guide/meme?
The tendency behind the creation of memes is that of trying to define what’s good, bad, right or wrong. We use them to give us direction, purpose and meaning. There’s nothing wrong with that. They only become destructive and hurtful when they allow no other options. We really don’t know why we are here or what we are doing. So we make things up trying to find our place and purpose in this vast universe. To feel safe and secure we need to feel that we ‘know’ what’s right. The Mystery of life appears to be too great and scary for us otherwise. The fact is that we will only ever know partial truths. When I accept and surrender to the Mystery, acknowledging I don’t know much really, then I don’t have to fight with someone who has a different meme. I can choose to be curious and explore if I want. Live and let Live. Why does everyone have to do, be and think the same? Where’s the fun in that? Yet that seems to be what is expected.
So how do we bridge the gaps that create the ‘battlefield of the memes? In the movie ‘ Into The Wild’ there was a final statement that really stuck with me. It was ‘… to call a thing by its right name.’ When I know what something is I can take right action. Memes are not ultimate reality, they are personal and cultural, and it’s o.k. for them to differ. There is no One Right Way to be or live. Trying to claim that can only breed conflict and discord. Call it by its right name. A meme! When I recognize this I can be more open and receptive to the people and world around me. I can actually meet the person in front of me rather than my projections created by my memes. It’s impossible to share what’s real and in our hearts when holding ‘meme pistols’ at each other.
To meet in the heart, I have to step out of myself, my memes, for new understanding and possibilities to unfold. It is hard work to do this, undoubtedly, for the intoxication of reaction, protecting our memes, is so seducing, and temporarily gives us such a strong sense of self, that it’s a hard drug to give up. But the drug of love and real meeting is far better and has no bad side effects! It just takes more effort.
All systems and beliefs are arbitrary, as understood in Hawaiian culture. Feel the freedom in that. Feel the possibilities that open when looking at life through that lens. This is a useful meme, one that encourages growth and freedom for all! Sounds good to me! Aloha.
Socrates and Hawaiian Wisdom Convene
There are some delightful similarities between Socrates and many of the Hawaiian understandings of being human and, ways to be in this world more consciously and harmoniously with ourselves and each other.
Socrates lived from 469BC-399BC. He was a pioneer in developing philosophy-the study of seeking truth and knowledge of reality. Socrates shared his realization that knowledge is alive, and is always evolving and emerging. He challenged people to think outside of the box, to penetrate the self deeply in order to come to self-realization through the process of inner inquiry; to put to question all outside information and propaganda. He taught people to think for themselves and encouraged engaging the innate intelligence in nature and within to refine understanding, and so, connect to the answers and direction we are looking for.
This is very akin to the Hawaiian way, which is also about regaining self-sovereignty and restoring oneness with the natural laws that govern all creation, connecting to and trusting this innate intelligence. The importance of deepening relationship to self and others, in love, wisdom and kindness is another mutual principle shared.
A predicament we face, collectively, is that we are rarely offered reflections of deeper truth in daily life, to give us healthy examples of how to relate and how to be with each other. We also are not challenged enough to think for ourselves. We tend to adopt myths and stories from others, personal and global, as our own without investigating their validity.
Gossip is a phenomenon that results from not taking the time to either reflect or engage the story being projected. In fact, with gossip the desire for truth doesn’t exist, only the best story counts, and the more negative the better, leaving the story teller feeling a false sense of power and importance.
This is my favourite story of Socrates that addresses this phenomenon eloquently, and awakens the importance of taking time to inquire into the stories that we, or anyone else attempts to sell as truth before passing them on.
.
* * *
One day a student of Socrates came running to him in great urgency.
“John, what is happening?” asked Socrates.
“Master, I found something out about Paul that I have to tell you right away, it can’t wait!”
Socrates paused some moments for inner reflection. John was getting really antsy; he couldn’t wait, but knew not to disrespect his Master.
Socrates emerged from his silence and said “My boy, before you tell me what it is you find so utterly important, I would like you to put what you have to say through three sieves of contemplation. Are you willing to do that? Then if you have passed through the sieves you can be free to tell me.” The student agreed.
“The first sieve is, is what you are about to tell me true, that you are absolutely certain it is true?”
The boy paused than excitedly said “Well I’m not sure, but Henry said that....”
“No, I’m sorry, you have failed to pass through the first sieve. Shall we try the next?”
A little disappointed the student mumbles “Yes Master”
“Very well, the second sieve is this. Is what you are about to tell me something good about Paul?”
Deflated a little more John answers looking to the ground sheepishly, “No,” knowing he failed the second sieve as well.
“O.K. The final sieve asks you, does what you have to say serve a greater purpose that will serve Paul and all others that would inherit this information? Does it spread wisdom and goodness?”
Sunken over, John again had to answer “No, it does not.”
“Well then my dear boy, my advice to you is that you keep this information to yourself and do not spread it around. Always put everything you have to say, even about yourself, through these three sieves, investigate deeply and you will find truth and facts to be better friends and bring forth more fruits and goodness than half truths, gossip and lies.”
“Yes Master, I see what you mean, thank-you, I will strive to do that.” Deeply humbled at the realizations through this teaching he quietly left his Masters quarters.
* * *
What’ most unfortunate, is that gossip always causes unnecessary pain. In essence, it’s toxic garbage. It contaminates minds, work spaces, families and communities. Each person exposed to the gossip takes on the negative impressions and builds on them with their own story and passes it on to the next one. It spreads like wild fire. And, like wildfire, it shows no mercy and is almost impossible to stop once started. The next time we see the person over whom we’ve heard a story we’re no longer seeing them, our eyes are already clouded.
It’s one thing to simply share our personal experience or make an attempt to understand ourselves, someone else, and how we are triggered, versus, stating our experience is the truth of who or how that person is. An Elder of mine in Hawaii emphasizes the importance of never speaking badly about anyone. In Ho’opono pono it’s understood than when we speak negatively about someone, our body doesn’t know the difference, and takes that energy into itself. We poison ourselves first. Scientifically it has been shown that toxic chemicals are released in our body when we entertain negative or hostile thinking. Masaru Emoto revealed the effect of negative thinking on water molecules. We are about 90% water. Every thought we have creates a ripple, both inwardly and outwardly.
If I consider the possibility that how I think and speak, that every word I say has an effect, that thoughts and words are like food that I am feeding myself and others, would I continue to eat and share garbage? I think not.
Gossip is a power trip based in fear that holds people in a perpetual freeze-frame of negativity. Fear condemns and judges. Love on the other hand is kind and life affirming. In every moment we are either feeding fear or love.
Makia- the Hawaiian principle of ‘focus’ is about understanding that where my attention goes, energy flows. The world is how I make it. I choose what stories I feed. What I think and focus on has an effect, always. ‘What effect do I want to contribute to this moment? To life?’ is a question to ask and answer to ourselves. The next question is, are my thoughts and actions congruent with that want?
The wisdom of Makia is that, in every moment it is me that is choosing. I am the authority over me and my thoughts.
It may not be possible to like everybody. But it is possible to choose to allow each individual the dignity of their humanity and spare them the cruelty of gossip. Differences do not have to lead to hostility and violence. There are always other options available.
Kindness and humility recognizes that we all go through the same battles, hurts and confusions. No one is ever any better or any less. As acts of creation, we are all enough and deserving of love. That is truth. To live from that basic understanding means we are willing to submerge our egos and let our heart rise. Through that action, we contribute to restoring the innate beauty and goodness in humanity. Aloha.
There are some delightful similarities between Socrates and many of the Hawaiian understandings of being human and, ways to be in this world more consciously and harmoniously with ourselves and each other.
Socrates lived from 469BC-399BC. He was a pioneer in developing philosophy-the study of seeking truth and knowledge of reality. Socrates shared his realization that knowledge is alive, and is always evolving and emerging. He challenged people to think outside of the box, to penetrate the self deeply in order to come to self-realization through the process of inner inquiry; to put to question all outside information and propaganda. He taught people to think for themselves and encouraged engaging the innate intelligence in nature and within to refine understanding, and so, connect to the answers and direction we are looking for.
This is very akin to the Hawaiian way, which is also about regaining self-sovereignty and restoring oneness with the natural laws that govern all creation, connecting to and trusting this innate intelligence. The importance of deepening relationship to self and others, in love, wisdom and kindness is another mutual principle shared.
A predicament we face, collectively, is that we are rarely offered reflections of deeper truth in daily life, to give us healthy examples of how to relate and how to be with each other. We also are not challenged enough to think for ourselves. We tend to adopt myths and stories from others, personal and global, as our own without investigating their validity.
Gossip is a phenomenon that results from not taking the time to either reflect or engage the story being projected. In fact, with gossip the desire for truth doesn’t exist, only the best story counts, and the more negative the better, leaving the story teller feeling a false sense of power and importance.
This is my favourite story of Socrates that addresses this phenomenon eloquently, and awakens the importance of taking time to inquire into the stories that we, or anyone else attempts to sell as truth before passing them on.
.
* * *
One day a student of Socrates came running to him in great urgency.
“John, what is happening?” asked Socrates.
“Master, I found something out about Paul that I have to tell you right away, it can’t wait!”
Socrates paused some moments for inner reflection. John was getting really antsy; he couldn’t wait, but knew not to disrespect his Master.
Socrates emerged from his silence and said “My boy, before you tell me what it is you find so utterly important, I would like you to put what you have to say through three sieves of contemplation. Are you willing to do that? Then if you have passed through the sieves you can be free to tell me.” The student agreed.
“The first sieve is, is what you are about to tell me true, that you are absolutely certain it is true?”
The boy paused than excitedly said “Well I’m not sure, but Henry said that....”
“No, I’m sorry, you have failed to pass through the first sieve. Shall we try the next?”
A little disappointed the student mumbles “Yes Master”
“Very well, the second sieve is this. Is what you are about to tell me something good about Paul?”
Deflated a little more John answers looking to the ground sheepishly, “No,” knowing he failed the second sieve as well.
“O.K. The final sieve asks you, does what you have to say serve a greater purpose that will serve Paul and all others that would inherit this information? Does it spread wisdom and goodness?”
Sunken over, John again had to answer “No, it does not.”
“Well then my dear boy, my advice to you is that you keep this information to yourself and do not spread it around. Always put everything you have to say, even about yourself, through these three sieves, investigate deeply and you will find truth and facts to be better friends and bring forth more fruits and goodness than half truths, gossip and lies.”
“Yes Master, I see what you mean, thank-you, I will strive to do that.” Deeply humbled at the realizations through this teaching he quietly left his Masters quarters.
* * *
What’ most unfortunate, is that gossip always causes unnecessary pain. In essence, it’s toxic garbage. It contaminates minds, work spaces, families and communities. Each person exposed to the gossip takes on the negative impressions and builds on them with their own story and passes it on to the next one. It spreads like wild fire. And, like wildfire, it shows no mercy and is almost impossible to stop once started. The next time we see the person over whom we’ve heard a story we’re no longer seeing them, our eyes are already clouded.
It’s one thing to simply share our personal experience or make an attempt to understand ourselves, someone else, and how we are triggered, versus, stating our experience is the truth of who or how that person is. An Elder of mine in Hawaii emphasizes the importance of never speaking badly about anyone. In Ho’opono pono it’s understood than when we speak negatively about someone, our body doesn’t know the difference, and takes that energy into itself. We poison ourselves first. Scientifically it has been shown that toxic chemicals are released in our body when we entertain negative or hostile thinking. Masaru Emoto revealed the effect of negative thinking on water molecules. We are about 90% water. Every thought we have creates a ripple, both inwardly and outwardly.
If I consider the possibility that how I think and speak, that every word I say has an effect, that thoughts and words are like food that I am feeding myself and others, would I continue to eat and share garbage? I think not.
Gossip is a power trip based in fear that holds people in a perpetual freeze-frame of negativity. Fear condemns and judges. Love on the other hand is kind and life affirming. In every moment we are either feeding fear or love.
Makia- the Hawaiian principle of ‘focus’ is about understanding that where my attention goes, energy flows. The world is how I make it. I choose what stories I feed. What I think and focus on has an effect, always. ‘What effect do I want to contribute to this moment? To life?’ is a question to ask and answer to ourselves. The next question is, are my thoughts and actions congruent with that want?
The wisdom of Makia is that, in every moment it is me that is choosing. I am the authority over me and my thoughts.
It may not be possible to like everybody. But it is possible to choose to allow each individual the dignity of their humanity and spare them the cruelty of gossip. Differences do not have to lead to hostility and violence. There are always other options available.
Kindness and humility recognizes that we all go through the same battles, hurts and confusions. No one is ever any better or any less. As acts of creation, we are all enough and deserving of love. That is truth. To live from that basic understanding means we are willing to submerge our egos and let our heart rise. Through that action, we contribute to restoring the innate beauty and goodness in humanity. Aloha.
Cosmology: Re-awakening the Sacred
As far back as I can remember, I’ve always experienced this deep connection with nature. At age thirteen I discovered the existence of pagan wisdoms and traditions and I felt so found because they always emphasized the interconnectedness of man/woman with the natural world. Everything is considered sacred and everything in nature gives reflections into our own nature, because we are nature. Since then I’ve encountered many other cultures and teachings that share the same awareness of the importance of living in union with nature.
12th Century Benedictine Abbess Hildegard of Bingen expressed: ‘Everything that is in the heavens, on earth, and under the earth, is penetrated with connectedness, penetrated with relatedness”, and, “Humanity, take a good look at yourself. Inside, you’ve got heaven and earth, and all of creation. You’re a world—everything is hidden in you.”
Have you ever noticed that every saint or prophet, including Jesus, opened into their enlightened state, union with God, after long periods of being in nature? Mmmm, interesting eh? Years ago I was reading transcripts from an amazing human being, teacher, from Bulgaria. His name is Omram Mikeal Aivanhov. What I love most about him is his simplicity and the common sense approach he uses to opening and sharing the teachings of Jesus and other messengers of truth. He makes the teachings approachable and he has a great sense of humor.
One statement that was a direct echo of my hearts knowing, which drew me to him, was when he said that if he can’t find the equivalent match for a theory, teaching or philosophy in Nature he dismisses it as nonsense, for, as he puts it, the first Good Book, Bible, is written in Nature, it is non verbal. This indicates that truth and wisdom exist beyond the mind and reasoning. It also indicates that a different quality of perception is required to gain entry into the domain we call the Divine.
“To become divine, is to become attuned to the whole of creation.”-Gandhi
Several years ago someone asked me what I thought was the main cause of our suffering. Without really thinking about it I heard myself say “ It’s our disconnect from nature. Man has sought to conquer it for so long that he has forgotten that he is nature and subject to the same laws of nature.” I reflected on that afterwards, I hadn’t perceived it in that context before, and had to agree with myself!! It was a fun moment. Over the years that has been confirmed. It makes sense.
Recently I finished another book by Daniel Quinn. I love this guy! The book is called “The Story of B”. The main theme is around what he calls “The Great Forgetting”. It’s the story of the shift in humanity from the three million years of tribal living to what he calls ‘totalitarian agriculture’, which began 10,000 years ago. This is said to be the main cause for the overpopulation epidemic we are in, as well as the hierarchal power structures that emerged. He also describes the migration history from the Fertile Crescent in Iraq, where western culture and organized agriculture began. This was the turning point where we went from living in deep relationship to nature, in tribes, hunting and gathering, to taking dominion over the earth.
According to the history we learn in school, human history didn’t really begin until civilization was born 10,000 years ago. Before then, it seems what and who human beings were is brushed off as primitive and meaningless.
Without attempting to romanticize tribal living, Quinn makes a really strong point in bringing awareness to the fact, that, obviously they were doing something right, for they existed in balance with the earth and all its creations for 3 million years, whereas we, the civilized, have been running the show a mere 10,000 years and look at the massive destruction we have caused. You can’t argue with that.
This book left me hungry for more information and now I am reading a book by Mathew Fox called “The Coming Of The Cosmic Christ”. He brings similar reflections as Quinn, integrating history with universal spirituality/religion.
The Cosmic Christ is understood as the consciousness of universal cosmic wisdom, revealed through the many different rivers of truth, be they Native American, African, Christian etc., In his words ‘ It is the “pattern that connects”, all the atoms and galaxies of the universe, a pattern of divine love and justice that all creatures and all humans bear within them.’
He also shares similar reflections on the impact ‘the shift’ had on humanity, psychologically and spiritually. We went from being one with creation and loved by ’God/dess’, to becoming alienated from nature and condemned by ‘God/dess’. The idea that humans are flawed also began, which opened the door for manipulating the masses with fear, guilt and shame. Pleasure, also, was made a sin. What was once true was made wrong. This is when the reasoning mind began abandoning the mystical and feminine, Mother Earth was no longer revered as sacred.
He introduces Cosmology as a path to restoring balance within ourselves and Mother Earth and identifies our separation from her, and the sacred feminine, as the source of our dis-ease. He also makes reference to those three million years that humanity simply lived in connection to natural laws and wisdom, without necessarily defining it as such. It just was. They lived in union with nature; we on the other hand live in denial and separation of the most basic of natural laws.
Cosmology is a way of relating to the whole of life. It’s re- awakening the sacred within and without. He defines it as the unity of science, mysticism and art that can awaken and nourish wisdom in us. Approaching the discovery of self and life through this lens opens immense opportunities for self expression, growth and a deep celebration of life. I recognize the similarity in the Hawaiian ways of living and being, as well as every Aboriginal culture I have encountered. Natures wisdom is universal, it doesn’t matter where you are on the planet, nature is nature. Those who listen naturally glean the same truths.
For so long we have been dominated and ruled by left brained logic and reason at the expense of the creative, right brained intuitive aspects of our being, that we are starving for meaning, balance and purpose. For me, reflecting on history in this way gives me deep insight into how the belief systems and mindsets that we inherited from our ancestors have developed and shaped our minds, and how some of these belief systems still cripple us to this day, both subconsciously and consciously.
There is a reason we have a left and right brain, they are designed to work in union with each other; the abstract with the logic; the rational with the intuitive; the imaginative with the practical. Together, these seeming opposites form a whole. In that wholeness is balance. In that balance we can be receptive to and in relationship with the governing laws of nature. These in turn can guide us in how to walk this Mother Earth and be a good steward to her.
PONO- the Hawaiian principle for Balance. Effectiveness is the measure of truth. If the way we are living our life, personally and globally, is not bringing about the reality and world we want to live in, then it’s obvious we need to change. It’s very simple. If what we have been doing till now is not effective, it never will be. It’s time to open our minds and to try something new to come to balance.
“This is the charged, the dangerous moment, when everything must be re-examined, must be made new, when nothing at all can be taken for granted!” –James Baldwin
This life is precious. Awakening the sacred ignites adventure, awe, compassion and celebration of living: the opportunity to experience each moment anew with a fresh and open heart. Aloha.
As far back as I can remember, I’ve always experienced this deep connection with nature. At age thirteen I discovered the existence of pagan wisdoms and traditions and I felt so found because they always emphasized the interconnectedness of man/woman with the natural world. Everything is considered sacred and everything in nature gives reflections into our own nature, because we are nature. Since then I’ve encountered many other cultures and teachings that share the same awareness of the importance of living in union with nature.
12th Century Benedictine Abbess Hildegard of Bingen expressed: ‘Everything that is in the heavens, on earth, and under the earth, is penetrated with connectedness, penetrated with relatedness”, and, “Humanity, take a good look at yourself. Inside, you’ve got heaven and earth, and all of creation. You’re a world—everything is hidden in you.”
Have you ever noticed that every saint or prophet, including Jesus, opened into their enlightened state, union with God, after long periods of being in nature? Mmmm, interesting eh? Years ago I was reading transcripts from an amazing human being, teacher, from Bulgaria. His name is Omram Mikeal Aivanhov. What I love most about him is his simplicity and the common sense approach he uses to opening and sharing the teachings of Jesus and other messengers of truth. He makes the teachings approachable and he has a great sense of humor.
One statement that was a direct echo of my hearts knowing, which drew me to him, was when he said that if he can’t find the equivalent match for a theory, teaching or philosophy in Nature he dismisses it as nonsense, for, as he puts it, the first Good Book, Bible, is written in Nature, it is non verbal. This indicates that truth and wisdom exist beyond the mind and reasoning. It also indicates that a different quality of perception is required to gain entry into the domain we call the Divine.
“To become divine, is to become attuned to the whole of creation.”-Gandhi
Several years ago someone asked me what I thought was the main cause of our suffering. Without really thinking about it I heard myself say “ It’s our disconnect from nature. Man has sought to conquer it for so long that he has forgotten that he is nature and subject to the same laws of nature.” I reflected on that afterwards, I hadn’t perceived it in that context before, and had to agree with myself!! It was a fun moment. Over the years that has been confirmed. It makes sense.
Recently I finished another book by Daniel Quinn. I love this guy! The book is called “The Story of B”. The main theme is around what he calls “The Great Forgetting”. It’s the story of the shift in humanity from the three million years of tribal living to what he calls ‘totalitarian agriculture’, which began 10,000 years ago. This is said to be the main cause for the overpopulation epidemic we are in, as well as the hierarchal power structures that emerged. He also describes the migration history from the Fertile Crescent in Iraq, where western culture and organized agriculture began. This was the turning point where we went from living in deep relationship to nature, in tribes, hunting and gathering, to taking dominion over the earth.
According to the history we learn in school, human history didn’t really begin until civilization was born 10,000 years ago. Before then, it seems what and who human beings were is brushed off as primitive and meaningless.
Without attempting to romanticize tribal living, Quinn makes a really strong point in bringing awareness to the fact, that, obviously they were doing something right, for they existed in balance with the earth and all its creations for 3 million years, whereas we, the civilized, have been running the show a mere 10,000 years and look at the massive destruction we have caused. You can’t argue with that.
This book left me hungry for more information and now I am reading a book by Mathew Fox called “The Coming Of The Cosmic Christ”. He brings similar reflections as Quinn, integrating history with universal spirituality/religion.
The Cosmic Christ is understood as the consciousness of universal cosmic wisdom, revealed through the many different rivers of truth, be they Native American, African, Christian etc., In his words ‘ It is the “pattern that connects”, all the atoms and galaxies of the universe, a pattern of divine love and justice that all creatures and all humans bear within them.’
He also shares similar reflections on the impact ‘the shift’ had on humanity, psychologically and spiritually. We went from being one with creation and loved by ’God/dess’, to becoming alienated from nature and condemned by ‘God/dess’. The idea that humans are flawed also began, which opened the door for manipulating the masses with fear, guilt and shame. Pleasure, also, was made a sin. What was once true was made wrong. This is when the reasoning mind began abandoning the mystical and feminine, Mother Earth was no longer revered as sacred.
He introduces Cosmology as a path to restoring balance within ourselves and Mother Earth and identifies our separation from her, and the sacred feminine, as the source of our dis-ease. He also makes reference to those three million years that humanity simply lived in connection to natural laws and wisdom, without necessarily defining it as such. It just was. They lived in union with nature; we on the other hand live in denial and separation of the most basic of natural laws.
Cosmology is a way of relating to the whole of life. It’s re- awakening the sacred within and without. He defines it as the unity of science, mysticism and art that can awaken and nourish wisdom in us. Approaching the discovery of self and life through this lens opens immense opportunities for self expression, growth and a deep celebration of life. I recognize the similarity in the Hawaiian ways of living and being, as well as every Aboriginal culture I have encountered. Natures wisdom is universal, it doesn’t matter where you are on the planet, nature is nature. Those who listen naturally glean the same truths.
For so long we have been dominated and ruled by left brained logic and reason at the expense of the creative, right brained intuitive aspects of our being, that we are starving for meaning, balance and purpose. For me, reflecting on history in this way gives me deep insight into how the belief systems and mindsets that we inherited from our ancestors have developed and shaped our minds, and how some of these belief systems still cripple us to this day, both subconsciously and consciously.
There is a reason we have a left and right brain, they are designed to work in union with each other; the abstract with the logic; the rational with the intuitive; the imaginative with the practical. Together, these seeming opposites form a whole. In that wholeness is balance. In that balance we can be receptive to and in relationship with the governing laws of nature. These in turn can guide us in how to walk this Mother Earth and be a good steward to her.
PONO- the Hawaiian principle for Balance. Effectiveness is the measure of truth. If the way we are living our life, personally and globally, is not bringing about the reality and world we want to live in, then it’s obvious we need to change. It’s very simple. If what we have been doing till now is not effective, it never will be. It’s time to open our minds and to try something new to come to balance.
“This is the charged, the dangerous moment, when everything must be re-examined, must be made new, when nothing at all can be taken for granted!” –James Baldwin
This life is precious. Awakening the sacred ignites adventure, awe, compassion and celebration of living: the opportunity to experience each moment anew with a fresh and open heart. Aloha.
Old Dogs Can Learn New Tricks!
For hundreds of years biologists and neurologists concluded that the adult brain was “hard-wired” and that the structure of the brain would never change. The claim was that our brains were only malleable as children. That once we reach maturity the circuitry is then fixed for life. That is what the saying “ you can’t teach an old dog new tricks” relates to. We often use and hear that line in a defeated tone, referring to us or others not being able to change. It is also often used as an excuse for complacency.
At the time, they basically believed that the brain was like a concrete structure, that after it was ‘poured and shaped’ in our youth that it would quickly harden into its final form and that was it, we/it could never change. The brain would then begin the slow process of decay, nerve cells would die and no new neurons would grow or develop.
There were, however, those who were ahead of their time, then called heretics, that had discovered otherwise. They saw indications through brain research that the adult brain was actually still malleable. In 1895, Freud, who prior to his career in psychology worked as a neurophysiology researcher, argued that ‘… the brain, in particular the contact barriers (synapses) between neurons, could change in response to a person’s experience.’
In 1880, American psychologist William James expressed a similar insight about the adaptability of the brain. He wrote that ‘…the nervous tissue seems endowed with a very extraordinary degree of plasticity’, that, ‘either outward forces or inward tensions can, from one hour to another, turn that structure into something different than it was.’
In 1950. British biologist J.Z. Young contended that the brain may well be in a constant state of flux, adapting quickly to any new demands. He conveys ‘There is evidence that the cells in our brains literally develop and grow bigger with use, and atrophy or waste away with disuse. It may be, therefore, that every action leaves some permanent print upon the nervous tissue.’
In 1968, pioneering neuroscientist Michael Merzenich, at age 26, made some astounding discoveries in his experiments that confirmed the insights of those before him that, finally, in 1983, caught the attention of the neurological community. ‘Looking back on it’, he shares, ’I realize that I had seen evidence of neuroplasticity. But I didn’t know it at the time.’
Neuroplasticity shows how ‘plastic’ the brain is and how it can rewire and change. It reveals that we are not hard wired in the way it was once was perceived.
An incredible paradigm shift has resulted through the efforts of these neuroscientists and psychologists that actually puts power back into the individuals hands to affect our lives and make the changes we need , to live the life we want to live. These new sciences validate every mystical/spiritual teaching on the planet that has stated that we carry within us the power to choose and create our reality. I love it how science is now proving true everything it has been trying to disprove for centuries. It’s a time of great freedom and liberation.
Old excuses for not changing our behavior and habits are no longer valid. We can learn new tricks. We can rewire our brains. We can choose to create new beliefs/neuropathways that support the life we want to live and who we want to be, and let go of old ones that no longer serve us. What is needed is the desire and commitment to change through consciously choosing how we think, see and what we believe, rather than running on old, outdated ‘programs’.
It has been scientifically proven that we have a window of a quarter second, physiologically in the brain, to choose how we respond or react to internal or external stimuli. Each time we harness that quarter second we affect change in the neuropathways in our brain, which means we also change our body chemistry.
With every thought and every feeling a chemical reaction occurs. Stressful thoughts trigger the fight or flight mechanism which then secretes cortisol and adrenaline into the bloodstream, which are toxic to the body when repeatedly stimulated. Thoughts that invoke a feeling of safety, beauty, love or positivity in turn release happy endorphins such as oxytocin, which encourages the natural healing processes of the body.
To understand that we can affect our body chemistry through thought is revolutionary for our modern age. For the most part when we are caught in a funk, depression, anger, despair, self doubt, etc., we feel powerless to those states, as if we have no control or possibility to affect change in any way other than to drink, do drugs or medication, or to numb ourselves from reality.
I’ve been there myself. I spent several years fighting to get my life back in a time when I was overwhelmed by pain, confusion and depression. I got through it by applying this knowledge and other wisdoms that supported that basic understanding. I chose to not take medication, I trusted the processes of healing, rewiring/refocusing and I knew I could do it without, and I did.
That’s not to say that for some medication isn’t an important intervention, it is, and can help to create a bridge where there is too great a gap. Sometimes we need assistance, a Band-Aid or a crutch, to keep us upright, there is nothing wrong with that, but the crutch and the Band-Aid are not going to create the changes needed to heal. We need to take action to create change. These wisdoms, both from science and mystic/spiritual sources, are tools to help us heal and reclaim our life back and to guide as governing laws of creation so we can create the life we long for. It is possible; applying what I learned gave me back my life, which is why I seek to share what I can.
As many others, Hawaiian teachings reflect the same observations as the sciences, they just have a different interpretation and way of piecing it together to guide us in the realms of relationship and self realization.
IKE- I am aware. The world is what I think it is. All systems are arbitrary; all knowledge is not taught in the same school.
MAKIA-Energy flows where attention goes. Thought is energy and forms reality.
KALA- I am free! There are no limits. All things are possible.
MANAWA- I am now! Every moment is the moment of truth. NOW is the only moment of power! Now is the only moment where the action is and I can affect reality.
MANA-All power comes from within! The strength to change dwells within everyone.
Imagine growing up with that as guideline to living.
All truth shares a common core, whatever name we give it, that’s how you can tell its truth, its universal. Diversity of interpretation is good and important; it gives the color, fragrance and flavor to being alive. In essence, it’s a source of joy and celebration of life, when we let it be. To connect to the sameness, while honoring the diversity, in each individual, faith, culture or belief is a key to peace, resolution and transformation.
It’s obvious that focusing on differences as a ‘bad thing’ and trying to claim one right way to live and be, puts us in a mess, creating conflict, personally and globally. Now, we have the opportunity to learn some new tricks, open ourselves to new ways of being and perceiving, knowing with absolute certainty that it is possible to rewire our beliefs, change our minds and how we see ourselves and the world. We can regain the driver seat in our lives and move towards embracing vitality and love as our natural state. It’s a matter of choice and practice. Aloha.
‘The greatness of human beings lies not in their ability to change the world, but in the ability to change oneself.’- Gandhi
For hundreds of years biologists and neurologists concluded that the adult brain was “hard-wired” and that the structure of the brain would never change. The claim was that our brains were only malleable as children. That once we reach maturity the circuitry is then fixed for life. That is what the saying “ you can’t teach an old dog new tricks” relates to. We often use and hear that line in a defeated tone, referring to us or others not being able to change. It is also often used as an excuse for complacency.
At the time, they basically believed that the brain was like a concrete structure, that after it was ‘poured and shaped’ in our youth that it would quickly harden into its final form and that was it, we/it could never change. The brain would then begin the slow process of decay, nerve cells would die and no new neurons would grow or develop.
There were, however, those who were ahead of their time, then called heretics, that had discovered otherwise. They saw indications through brain research that the adult brain was actually still malleable. In 1895, Freud, who prior to his career in psychology worked as a neurophysiology researcher, argued that ‘… the brain, in particular the contact barriers (synapses) between neurons, could change in response to a person’s experience.’
In 1880, American psychologist William James expressed a similar insight about the adaptability of the brain. He wrote that ‘…the nervous tissue seems endowed with a very extraordinary degree of plasticity’, that, ‘either outward forces or inward tensions can, from one hour to another, turn that structure into something different than it was.’
In 1950. British biologist J.Z. Young contended that the brain may well be in a constant state of flux, adapting quickly to any new demands. He conveys ‘There is evidence that the cells in our brains literally develop and grow bigger with use, and atrophy or waste away with disuse. It may be, therefore, that every action leaves some permanent print upon the nervous tissue.’
In 1968, pioneering neuroscientist Michael Merzenich, at age 26, made some astounding discoveries in his experiments that confirmed the insights of those before him that, finally, in 1983, caught the attention of the neurological community. ‘Looking back on it’, he shares, ’I realize that I had seen evidence of neuroplasticity. But I didn’t know it at the time.’
Neuroplasticity shows how ‘plastic’ the brain is and how it can rewire and change. It reveals that we are not hard wired in the way it was once was perceived.
An incredible paradigm shift has resulted through the efforts of these neuroscientists and psychologists that actually puts power back into the individuals hands to affect our lives and make the changes we need , to live the life we want to live. These new sciences validate every mystical/spiritual teaching on the planet that has stated that we carry within us the power to choose and create our reality. I love it how science is now proving true everything it has been trying to disprove for centuries. It’s a time of great freedom and liberation.
Old excuses for not changing our behavior and habits are no longer valid. We can learn new tricks. We can rewire our brains. We can choose to create new beliefs/neuropathways that support the life we want to live and who we want to be, and let go of old ones that no longer serve us. What is needed is the desire and commitment to change through consciously choosing how we think, see and what we believe, rather than running on old, outdated ‘programs’.
It has been scientifically proven that we have a window of a quarter second, physiologically in the brain, to choose how we respond or react to internal or external stimuli. Each time we harness that quarter second we affect change in the neuropathways in our brain, which means we also change our body chemistry.
With every thought and every feeling a chemical reaction occurs. Stressful thoughts trigger the fight or flight mechanism which then secretes cortisol and adrenaline into the bloodstream, which are toxic to the body when repeatedly stimulated. Thoughts that invoke a feeling of safety, beauty, love or positivity in turn release happy endorphins such as oxytocin, which encourages the natural healing processes of the body.
To understand that we can affect our body chemistry through thought is revolutionary for our modern age. For the most part when we are caught in a funk, depression, anger, despair, self doubt, etc., we feel powerless to those states, as if we have no control or possibility to affect change in any way other than to drink, do drugs or medication, or to numb ourselves from reality.
I’ve been there myself. I spent several years fighting to get my life back in a time when I was overwhelmed by pain, confusion and depression. I got through it by applying this knowledge and other wisdoms that supported that basic understanding. I chose to not take medication, I trusted the processes of healing, rewiring/refocusing and I knew I could do it without, and I did.
That’s not to say that for some medication isn’t an important intervention, it is, and can help to create a bridge where there is too great a gap. Sometimes we need assistance, a Band-Aid or a crutch, to keep us upright, there is nothing wrong with that, but the crutch and the Band-Aid are not going to create the changes needed to heal. We need to take action to create change. These wisdoms, both from science and mystic/spiritual sources, are tools to help us heal and reclaim our life back and to guide as governing laws of creation so we can create the life we long for. It is possible; applying what I learned gave me back my life, which is why I seek to share what I can.
As many others, Hawaiian teachings reflect the same observations as the sciences, they just have a different interpretation and way of piecing it together to guide us in the realms of relationship and self realization.
IKE- I am aware. The world is what I think it is. All systems are arbitrary; all knowledge is not taught in the same school.
MAKIA-Energy flows where attention goes. Thought is energy and forms reality.
KALA- I am free! There are no limits. All things are possible.
MANAWA- I am now! Every moment is the moment of truth. NOW is the only moment of power! Now is the only moment where the action is and I can affect reality.
MANA-All power comes from within! The strength to change dwells within everyone.
Imagine growing up with that as guideline to living.
All truth shares a common core, whatever name we give it, that’s how you can tell its truth, its universal. Diversity of interpretation is good and important; it gives the color, fragrance and flavor to being alive. In essence, it’s a source of joy and celebration of life, when we let it be. To connect to the sameness, while honoring the diversity, in each individual, faith, culture or belief is a key to peace, resolution and transformation.
It’s obvious that focusing on differences as a ‘bad thing’ and trying to claim one right way to live and be, puts us in a mess, creating conflict, personally and globally. Now, we have the opportunity to learn some new tricks, open ourselves to new ways of being and perceiving, knowing with absolute certainty that it is possible to rewire our beliefs, change our minds and how we see ourselves and the world. We can regain the driver seat in our lives and move towards embracing vitality and love as our natural state. It’s a matter of choice and practice. Aloha.
‘The greatness of human beings lies not in their ability to change the world, but in the ability to change oneself.’- Gandhi
I Know, I Already Know….
The words we use to think or speak about our experiences hold so much more power than we generally recognize. Quite often without realizing it, the way we express ourselves can keep us stuck or tripping over the same issues/challenges over and over again.
Like a well worn path on a rug that has become a welt, we stay comfortable in our habits and rarely venture beyond it, and we tend to initially resist anyone or anything that would question our way of perceiving.
One of the most common responses I encounter, in everyday life and through working with people in a healing way is the comment ‘I know’ or ‘I already know that!’. Someone will be describing a challenge or problem they are having, they say they are looking for feedback and an answer to it, and deep down they definitely are, yet there are many layers of resistance, because it will mean being vulnerable. It also necessitates change, which requires stepping out and off of the well trodden carpet that has become the main inner trail through the jungle of life experiences. The resistance is totally subconscious, and is based in the primal need to feel safe.
When suggestions or feedback is given a key phrase that always emerges to reveal that resistance is ‘I Know’. The fact is though, that, if I did know all I needed to, to understand or solve my problem, it would be solved immediately, I would act on that knowing therefore creating the changes needed. So, really, it’s obvious I don’t know. Whatever I may think I know is obviously not complete, otherwise reality would be different. Proof is in the pudding.
It’s an interesting loop we get caught in, which causes us to deflect new insights from emerging by defending ourselves with what we think we already know. Is it any wonder it can sometimes feel like we are chasing our tails trying to come to some answers? There is also a huge difference between what we think we know and putting it into living action. We all know war is bad, yet…. We all know certain things are bad for our health yet…..
If we take a deeper look at what the statement ‘I know’ implies, we come to see that it creates a dead end. If I already know, than where else is there to go and explore other possibilities? It obstructs moving forward. It’s done. That statement also seems to offer the illusion of being in control, so we hold on to our knowing out of fear of the unknown. In our culture as well, there is a strong association with the idea of knowing things. When you do, it means you are strong and intelligent, when not, then you’re stupid or a loser, so to speak. That message is programmed in us over and over again through the school system and society.
One day when I was twenty and living in Ascona Switzerland, a question formed in me that to this day still governs and guides me to expand myself and reach further than I can see. “ How do I know, that I really know, what I think I know?” That question blew my mind open because I realized that that certainty doesn’t exist, because there are so many differing contexts experiences can be perceived from, and if I am indeed an evolving being, that would also imply that knowing changes with experiences.
When I say knowing here, I am referring to the minds definitions and beliefs of things. This is different than the experience of an inner resonance of knowing, which happens in the moment and is evolving. In German there is a beautiful word, ‘wahrnemung’, it translates as ‘ to experience/witness something to be true’. That is a different kind of knowing, it’s permeable, a living energy that floods our awareness and sheds light, whereas the other form of knowing builds walls and is stagnant. The German language is incredibly adept and precise in its expressions/explorations of thought and feeling, whereas English, as we use it today, is really a business language, its short, abrupt and fragmented, and does not lend the depth that older languages do when engaging the processes of thinking and being.
Later in my twenties at a pizza stand in Berlin late at night after a dance class another insight swept me away. ‘That for every thought I have or can create, I will be able to rationalize and find validation and confirmation for it’. Example, life is hard versus life is beautiful. For both of those statements I can argue their truth easily. This is true with everything. So, what’s important to get in touch with, is the ‘wahrnemmung’ experience of light that is always present when we connect to something true. To do that we need to suspend the hardened ideas we carry that disable our ability to fully perceive what is true in the moment. Looking back through history we see how what was once held true changed, revealing that really, what we call knowing is really speculation, our next best guess. Yet every generation claims that they have the answers, and we wage wars over it.
When we are challenged to stretch beyond our ideas, unless we are open to it, an energy charge of adrenaline is released to fight and protect our beliefs. We mistake that energy as reflecting truth. Thoughts of anger, criticism and judgment, for example, are like shots of heroin that give a quick high, make us feel strong and righteous, but blocks any deeper truth or understanding from emerging.
It’s important to recognize that just because a thought and a strong sensation with the thought exists, it doesn’t make it true.
What I am hoping to reveal here, is a humongous blind spot that is created by the idea of ‘knowing’ anything at all. If you compare the feeling in your body when you say, ‘I know’, versus ‘I see’, I am aware,’ or, ‘I experience that as true’, you will find the latter opens you up whereas the former shuts a door. The latter is relating an authentic experience of truth, which carries energy with it, whereas the former is dead energy, and is untrue; it’s a facsimile of a past experience exerting itself in the present, disguised as truth.
The polar opposite of ‘I know’, is ‘I don’t know’, which, in the context of confusion, is also resistance, and is not a true statement. For, if there is a signal coming from within me that creates distress and confusion, it indicates that some aspect of me is aware of what’s ‘wrong’ and also, knows the right action to correct it, I just haven’t tapped into it consciously yet. Someone once made a comment to me that confusion only happens when we are lying to ourselves. How I understand that is that we are unable to meet a truth that is already present in us, and are hesitant to engage it and take action on it because of fear of the unknown, not being able to control the outcome, and sometimes, perhaps the fear that we won’t survive the outcome and changes that will occur. The conflict between our minds ideas and the inner knowing creates the lie; we are not living in what is true.
Change can be scary, or it can be an adventure, sometimes a mix of both. When we drop the statements ‘I know, I don’t know’, we enter the ‘great mystery’ and engage a deeper awareness that expands and opens us to the new possibilities, insights and inspirations that we were otherwise blind to. Sure there is always a risk in any kind of change and stepping out of the familiar, but isn’t that what makes being alive exciting, engaging our creativity and bringing us to life in ways that we could only dream of? This is the very quality of being that enabled the creation of every technology we benefit from, and every person who is living their dreams that inspires us; they did not limit themselves to what was known, they explored beyond it, they took the risk.
The question to ask is, do I want to live in a box of fearful projections, that is stagnant and where no fresh air can enter, or, do I want to live wide open and be touched by the breath of life?
KALA-Possibilities are endless.
PONO-Effectiveness is the measure of truth.
ALOHA- in the presence of the breath of God/Spirit/Love.
When we live in truth, meaning, we are congruent in what we think, say and do and are open to our inner well of authentic knowing and inspiration, then, we are living in ALOHA, generating a movement of energy in us that has no boundaries, only potential. Aloha.
The words we use to think or speak about our experiences hold so much more power than we generally recognize. Quite often without realizing it, the way we express ourselves can keep us stuck or tripping over the same issues/challenges over and over again.
Like a well worn path on a rug that has become a welt, we stay comfortable in our habits and rarely venture beyond it, and we tend to initially resist anyone or anything that would question our way of perceiving.
One of the most common responses I encounter, in everyday life and through working with people in a healing way is the comment ‘I know’ or ‘I already know that!’. Someone will be describing a challenge or problem they are having, they say they are looking for feedback and an answer to it, and deep down they definitely are, yet there are many layers of resistance, because it will mean being vulnerable. It also necessitates change, which requires stepping out and off of the well trodden carpet that has become the main inner trail through the jungle of life experiences. The resistance is totally subconscious, and is based in the primal need to feel safe.
When suggestions or feedback is given a key phrase that always emerges to reveal that resistance is ‘I Know’. The fact is though, that, if I did know all I needed to, to understand or solve my problem, it would be solved immediately, I would act on that knowing therefore creating the changes needed. So, really, it’s obvious I don’t know. Whatever I may think I know is obviously not complete, otherwise reality would be different. Proof is in the pudding.
It’s an interesting loop we get caught in, which causes us to deflect new insights from emerging by defending ourselves with what we think we already know. Is it any wonder it can sometimes feel like we are chasing our tails trying to come to some answers? There is also a huge difference between what we think we know and putting it into living action. We all know war is bad, yet…. We all know certain things are bad for our health yet…..
If we take a deeper look at what the statement ‘I know’ implies, we come to see that it creates a dead end. If I already know, than where else is there to go and explore other possibilities? It obstructs moving forward. It’s done. That statement also seems to offer the illusion of being in control, so we hold on to our knowing out of fear of the unknown. In our culture as well, there is a strong association with the idea of knowing things. When you do, it means you are strong and intelligent, when not, then you’re stupid or a loser, so to speak. That message is programmed in us over and over again through the school system and society.
One day when I was twenty and living in Ascona Switzerland, a question formed in me that to this day still governs and guides me to expand myself and reach further than I can see. “ How do I know, that I really know, what I think I know?” That question blew my mind open because I realized that that certainty doesn’t exist, because there are so many differing contexts experiences can be perceived from, and if I am indeed an evolving being, that would also imply that knowing changes with experiences.
When I say knowing here, I am referring to the minds definitions and beliefs of things. This is different than the experience of an inner resonance of knowing, which happens in the moment and is evolving. In German there is a beautiful word, ‘wahrnemung’, it translates as ‘ to experience/witness something to be true’. That is a different kind of knowing, it’s permeable, a living energy that floods our awareness and sheds light, whereas the other form of knowing builds walls and is stagnant. The German language is incredibly adept and precise in its expressions/explorations of thought and feeling, whereas English, as we use it today, is really a business language, its short, abrupt and fragmented, and does not lend the depth that older languages do when engaging the processes of thinking and being.
Later in my twenties at a pizza stand in Berlin late at night after a dance class another insight swept me away. ‘That for every thought I have or can create, I will be able to rationalize and find validation and confirmation for it’. Example, life is hard versus life is beautiful. For both of those statements I can argue their truth easily. This is true with everything. So, what’s important to get in touch with, is the ‘wahrnemmung’ experience of light that is always present when we connect to something true. To do that we need to suspend the hardened ideas we carry that disable our ability to fully perceive what is true in the moment. Looking back through history we see how what was once held true changed, revealing that really, what we call knowing is really speculation, our next best guess. Yet every generation claims that they have the answers, and we wage wars over it.
When we are challenged to stretch beyond our ideas, unless we are open to it, an energy charge of adrenaline is released to fight and protect our beliefs. We mistake that energy as reflecting truth. Thoughts of anger, criticism and judgment, for example, are like shots of heroin that give a quick high, make us feel strong and righteous, but blocks any deeper truth or understanding from emerging.
It’s important to recognize that just because a thought and a strong sensation with the thought exists, it doesn’t make it true.
What I am hoping to reveal here, is a humongous blind spot that is created by the idea of ‘knowing’ anything at all. If you compare the feeling in your body when you say, ‘I know’, versus ‘I see’, I am aware,’ or, ‘I experience that as true’, you will find the latter opens you up whereas the former shuts a door. The latter is relating an authentic experience of truth, which carries energy with it, whereas the former is dead energy, and is untrue; it’s a facsimile of a past experience exerting itself in the present, disguised as truth.
The polar opposite of ‘I know’, is ‘I don’t know’, which, in the context of confusion, is also resistance, and is not a true statement. For, if there is a signal coming from within me that creates distress and confusion, it indicates that some aspect of me is aware of what’s ‘wrong’ and also, knows the right action to correct it, I just haven’t tapped into it consciously yet. Someone once made a comment to me that confusion only happens when we are lying to ourselves. How I understand that is that we are unable to meet a truth that is already present in us, and are hesitant to engage it and take action on it because of fear of the unknown, not being able to control the outcome, and sometimes, perhaps the fear that we won’t survive the outcome and changes that will occur. The conflict between our minds ideas and the inner knowing creates the lie; we are not living in what is true.
Change can be scary, or it can be an adventure, sometimes a mix of both. When we drop the statements ‘I know, I don’t know’, we enter the ‘great mystery’ and engage a deeper awareness that expands and opens us to the new possibilities, insights and inspirations that we were otherwise blind to. Sure there is always a risk in any kind of change and stepping out of the familiar, but isn’t that what makes being alive exciting, engaging our creativity and bringing us to life in ways that we could only dream of? This is the very quality of being that enabled the creation of every technology we benefit from, and every person who is living their dreams that inspires us; they did not limit themselves to what was known, they explored beyond it, they took the risk.
The question to ask is, do I want to live in a box of fearful projections, that is stagnant and where no fresh air can enter, or, do I want to live wide open and be touched by the breath of life?
KALA-Possibilities are endless.
PONO-Effectiveness is the measure of truth.
ALOHA- in the presence of the breath of God/Spirit/Love.
When we live in truth, meaning, we are congruent in what we think, say and do and are open to our inner well of authentic knowing and inspiration, then, we are living in ALOHA, generating a movement of energy in us that has no boundaries, only potential. Aloha.
Way of the Dinosaur vs. Way of the Buddha
There is a well known fossil in Mongolia of two dinosaurs locked in mortal combat. A Valocirapto is clawing a Protoceratops that is biting the Valociraptos’ arm. They have been holding this position for approximately 80 million years, and they will remain hardened in time for who knows how many more millions of years.
If we were to put imagery to what resentments and conflict look like within us, this is a pretty good likeness to what it would look like. When we cling to anger and judgments’ towards others or even ourselves, we become hardened, unbendable and stuck in time. It is such a waste of energy and robs us of too many precious moments, which we can never retrieve. It also blocks movement and progress towards new possibilities of being and doing.
Think of someone, or, a situation that infuriates you, that swells you up with anger and judgment and you will see what happens to your body; you tighten and become hard. Your breath shallows and you are frozen in that energy.
In that state, nothing but destructiveness and violence is possible. What happens alongside this emotional reaction is that a chemical response of adrenaline and cortisol floods your body, which, unless you do something to redirect your focus, can turn into blind rage. When we repeatedly react aggressively, we develop an addiction to those chemicals and that state; this makes it more difficult to take a different path. We become hardwired for conflict. To let go of anger feels almost like dying; like being defeated. So we cling to it for better or for worse. That’s when false pride kicks in, cementing us in that state.
Life and Love can no longer flow and lend their influence to a more sober approach that would enable reflection, sharing and communication, which, in turn, encourages finding a middle ground where conflict can be resolved and a solution can be found.
The fact may be that someone may have done something that caused an experience of insult, hurt or injury. Yet, even with that, out of all the options available, why continue to make choices that hold on to the anger and hurt? No one benefits. Taking oneself too seriously, which leads to self-righteousness, is what limits the possibilities of opening, forgiving and letting go.
Letting go and forgiving does not mean I condone what was done, it means I am choosing to not let it take me down a path that I know can only lead to more pain and hostility, for myself and the other. I choose to learn about myself and the other. Cultivating compassion and understanding for the myriad of ways our human foolishness and mistakes entangle us, and often hurt ourselves and others, is really important in the process of letting go.
Staying cemented in our opinions and judgments will only keep us hardened like the dinosaurs, which perpetuates suffering.
Here is another possibility of response reflected in a parable of Buddha:
Buddha was sitting under a tree talking to his disciples. A man came and spat on his face. Buddha wiped it off and asked the man “What next? What do you want to say next?” The man was puzzled because he had never encountered that response before. He had insulted many people before and they either became angry or were cowardly. But Buddha was like neither, he was not angry nor in any way offended, nor in any way cowardly. He had just matter of factly said “What next?”
Buddhas disciples, though, became angry and reacted. His closest disciple, Ananda, said, “This is too much, and we cannot tolerate it! You keep your teaching with you, and we will just show this man that he cannot do what he has done. He has to be punished for it. Otherwise everybody will start doing things like this!”
Buddha said “You keep silent, He has not offended me, but you are offending me. He is new, a stranger. He must have heard from people something about me, that ‘this man is an atheist, a dangerous man who is throwing people off their track, a revolutionary, a corrupter.’ And he may have formed some idea, a notion of me. He has not spit on me. He has spit on his notion and idea of me-because he does not know me at all, so how can he spit on me?”
“If you think on it deeply,” Buddha said, “he has spit on his own mind. I am not a part of it, and I can see that this poor man must have something to say- spitting is a way of saying something. There are moments when you feel language is impotent-in deep love, in intense anger, in hate, in prayer. There are intense moments when language is impotent. Then you have to do something. When you are in deep love and you kiss the person, what are you doing? You are saying something. When you are angry, intensely angry, you hit the person, you spit on him, you are saying something. I can understand him. He must have something more to say, that’s why I am asking, “What next?”
The man was even more puzzled! And Buddha said to his disciples, “I am more offended by you because you know me, and still you react!”
Confused, the man returned home. He could not sleep the whole night. Again and again he was haunted by the experience. He could not explain it to himself, what had happened. He was trembling all over and perspiring. He had never come across such a man; he shattered his whole mind, his whole pattern, his whole past.
The next morning he returned, throwing himself at Buddha’s feet. Buddha asked again, “What next? This, too, bowing at my feet, is a way of saying something that cannot be said in language, for which all words are a little narrow; it cannot be contained in them.” Buddha said, “Look, Ananda, this man is here again, he is saying something. He is a man of deep emotions.”
The man looked at Buddha and said,” Forgive me for what I did yesterday.”
Buddha said,” Forgive? But I am not the same man to whom you did it. The Ganges goes on flowing; it is never the same Ganges again. Every man is a river. The man you spit upon is no longer here- I look just like him, but I am not the same, much has happened in these twenty-four hours! The river has flowed so much. So I cannot forgive you because I have no grudge against you.
“And you are also new. I can see you are not the same man who came yesterday because that man was angry-he was anger! He spit, whereas you are bowing at my feet- how can you be the same man? Those two people, the man who spit, and the man on whom he spit, both are no more. Come closer. Let us talk of something else.”
Two key insights are revealed here: first, that when someone spits on you, metaphorically, they are actually spitting on themselves. Second the compassionate response, where Buddha is not caught up in self importance, but rather is considering the life and feelings of the man as well and is meeting in the present moment rather than the past. No violent reactions, only a genuine response that enables freedom and goodness for both.
So what if someone spit on you, judged you falsely, or made a mistake? Why dwell on that? Why turn to stone about it? Conflicts and misunderstandings happen. It’s a part of the journey. Breathe, open, let go and be willing to look deeper. It’s definitely not easy to do this, but it is possible, and it is the only solution for conflict resolution. Even if circumstances don’t enable direct contact and resolution with someone, it is still possible to achieve it within oneself. Ho’opono pono.
Love all that you see-with humility. This is one of three Hawaiian Kapus-sacred directives. In order to love all we see, this can only come from a sincere place of humility and willingness to step out of prehistoric reactions and pettiness, and move towards more enlightened responses. We choose to feed our Buddha Nature or our primitive nature.
Isn’t it time to stop all the fighting? It doesn’t get anyone anywhere. How else can we create the families, communities and relationships we hope for, except to cultivate understanding, open and let go? That action alone ensures that joy and goodness will flourish, for everyone. ALOHA.
There is a well known fossil in Mongolia of two dinosaurs locked in mortal combat. A Valocirapto is clawing a Protoceratops that is biting the Valociraptos’ arm. They have been holding this position for approximately 80 million years, and they will remain hardened in time for who knows how many more millions of years.
If we were to put imagery to what resentments and conflict look like within us, this is a pretty good likeness to what it would look like. When we cling to anger and judgments’ towards others or even ourselves, we become hardened, unbendable and stuck in time. It is such a waste of energy and robs us of too many precious moments, which we can never retrieve. It also blocks movement and progress towards new possibilities of being and doing.
Think of someone, or, a situation that infuriates you, that swells you up with anger and judgment and you will see what happens to your body; you tighten and become hard. Your breath shallows and you are frozen in that energy.
In that state, nothing but destructiveness and violence is possible. What happens alongside this emotional reaction is that a chemical response of adrenaline and cortisol floods your body, which, unless you do something to redirect your focus, can turn into blind rage. When we repeatedly react aggressively, we develop an addiction to those chemicals and that state; this makes it more difficult to take a different path. We become hardwired for conflict. To let go of anger feels almost like dying; like being defeated. So we cling to it for better or for worse. That’s when false pride kicks in, cementing us in that state.
Life and Love can no longer flow and lend their influence to a more sober approach that would enable reflection, sharing and communication, which, in turn, encourages finding a middle ground where conflict can be resolved and a solution can be found.
The fact may be that someone may have done something that caused an experience of insult, hurt or injury. Yet, even with that, out of all the options available, why continue to make choices that hold on to the anger and hurt? No one benefits. Taking oneself too seriously, which leads to self-righteousness, is what limits the possibilities of opening, forgiving and letting go.
Letting go and forgiving does not mean I condone what was done, it means I am choosing to not let it take me down a path that I know can only lead to more pain and hostility, for myself and the other. I choose to learn about myself and the other. Cultivating compassion and understanding for the myriad of ways our human foolishness and mistakes entangle us, and often hurt ourselves and others, is really important in the process of letting go.
Staying cemented in our opinions and judgments will only keep us hardened like the dinosaurs, which perpetuates suffering.
Here is another possibility of response reflected in a parable of Buddha:
Buddha was sitting under a tree talking to his disciples. A man came and spat on his face. Buddha wiped it off and asked the man “What next? What do you want to say next?” The man was puzzled because he had never encountered that response before. He had insulted many people before and they either became angry or were cowardly. But Buddha was like neither, he was not angry nor in any way offended, nor in any way cowardly. He had just matter of factly said “What next?”
Buddhas disciples, though, became angry and reacted. His closest disciple, Ananda, said, “This is too much, and we cannot tolerate it! You keep your teaching with you, and we will just show this man that he cannot do what he has done. He has to be punished for it. Otherwise everybody will start doing things like this!”
Buddha said “You keep silent, He has not offended me, but you are offending me. He is new, a stranger. He must have heard from people something about me, that ‘this man is an atheist, a dangerous man who is throwing people off their track, a revolutionary, a corrupter.’ And he may have formed some idea, a notion of me. He has not spit on me. He has spit on his notion and idea of me-because he does not know me at all, so how can he spit on me?”
“If you think on it deeply,” Buddha said, “he has spit on his own mind. I am not a part of it, and I can see that this poor man must have something to say- spitting is a way of saying something. There are moments when you feel language is impotent-in deep love, in intense anger, in hate, in prayer. There are intense moments when language is impotent. Then you have to do something. When you are in deep love and you kiss the person, what are you doing? You are saying something. When you are angry, intensely angry, you hit the person, you spit on him, you are saying something. I can understand him. He must have something more to say, that’s why I am asking, “What next?”
The man was even more puzzled! And Buddha said to his disciples, “I am more offended by you because you know me, and still you react!”
Confused, the man returned home. He could not sleep the whole night. Again and again he was haunted by the experience. He could not explain it to himself, what had happened. He was trembling all over and perspiring. He had never come across such a man; he shattered his whole mind, his whole pattern, his whole past.
The next morning he returned, throwing himself at Buddha’s feet. Buddha asked again, “What next? This, too, bowing at my feet, is a way of saying something that cannot be said in language, for which all words are a little narrow; it cannot be contained in them.” Buddha said, “Look, Ananda, this man is here again, he is saying something. He is a man of deep emotions.”
The man looked at Buddha and said,” Forgive me for what I did yesterday.”
Buddha said,” Forgive? But I am not the same man to whom you did it. The Ganges goes on flowing; it is never the same Ganges again. Every man is a river. The man you spit upon is no longer here- I look just like him, but I am not the same, much has happened in these twenty-four hours! The river has flowed so much. So I cannot forgive you because I have no grudge against you.
“And you are also new. I can see you are not the same man who came yesterday because that man was angry-he was anger! He spit, whereas you are bowing at my feet- how can you be the same man? Those two people, the man who spit, and the man on whom he spit, both are no more. Come closer. Let us talk of something else.”
Two key insights are revealed here: first, that when someone spits on you, metaphorically, they are actually spitting on themselves. Second the compassionate response, where Buddha is not caught up in self importance, but rather is considering the life and feelings of the man as well and is meeting in the present moment rather than the past. No violent reactions, only a genuine response that enables freedom and goodness for both.
So what if someone spit on you, judged you falsely, or made a mistake? Why dwell on that? Why turn to stone about it? Conflicts and misunderstandings happen. It’s a part of the journey. Breathe, open, let go and be willing to look deeper. It’s definitely not easy to do this, but it is possible, and it is the only solution for conflict resolution. Even if circumstances don’t enable direct contact and resolution with someone, it is still possible to achieve it within oneself. Ho’opono pono.
Love all that you see-with humility. This is one of three Hawaiian Kapus-sacred directives. In order to love all we see, this can only come from a sincere place of humility and willingness to step out of prehistoric reactions and pettiness, and move towards more enlightened responses. We choose to feed our Buddha Nature or our primitive nature.
Isn’t it time to stop all the fighting? It doesn’t get anyone anywhere. How else can we create the families, communities and relationships we hope for, except to cultivate understanding, open and let go? That action alone ensures that joy and goodness will flourish, for everyone. ALOHA.
CALL TO HUMANITY!
I call on all humanity; I call on you, to step into service, to be Ambassadors to the Highest Good that we as human beings can embody. I challenge you to be and give the best of you always. To turn your head on selfish pride and power tripping ego, to embrace the strength of Grace and Goodness as the tools for creating change and conflict resolution. I dare you to let yourself be touched by the beauty of life that the walls around your heart dissolve and the entangled knots in your mind become undone so you can again meet life in innocence and trust. I dare you to muster the courage to take the time to unload all your fears and worries, to really test the validity of the claims they have convinced you of, and recognize the possible falseness they represent and the violence they perpetuate. Emotional fear is always the worst consultant.
I wish for you to feel and reconnect with the innate intelligence that governs the cycles of life, to connect to the natural laws of nature and remember that you are one with nature and subject to the same cycles and laws. There is enough science to validate that basic truth. There is enough science to validate that our thoughts affect reality. There are more than enough examples of human beings who have risen above tyranny, ego and fear to show it is possible to do so, that it’s not a pipedream or delusion, that we can change and create a better life and better world. There are enough books and teachings on empowerment, quantum physics, healing and human potential that have been read by millions of people, utilized and validated, that there is no excuse for there to still be so much victimization, intolerance, tyranny and violence in families, work places and government. We have the knowledge of what we need to do to help each other to create a healthy vibrant world. We know better now than ever before in human history, we need to turn that knowing into action.
It’s not enough to have only a handful of humanity being the examples that we look up to, who we turn into celebrities, applauding their greatness. That same greatness is a seed of potential in you waiting to be nourished to grow and flower through you. The world needs you to choose the world you want to create and do the work to make it happen. To be persistent, determined and committed to follow through with what’s needed to make it happen. Awaken from the numbing slumber of “assumptions and superficial ideas”, and go deeper, engage curiosity and wonder to see if you really do know what you think you know.
This is not a new message, but an ancient one that is still calling us to listen because we obviously haven’t yet, otherwise this world would be very different. Are you willing and ready to listen and rise to your highest and best potential as a human being?
There is no time for complacency anymore. Yes, it is hard at times, but that’s irrelevant, that it’s possible is what’s important to focus on. A Hawaiian principle called Makia- Focus, reflects this; where your attention goes, energy flows and that’s the reality that grows. That is a fact. Challenges and friction create the opportunity to grow, to stretch and expand ourselves beyond what we know and see to gain a vaster view.
We choose love or we choose hate. In every moment we make that choice in how we think about ourselves and others, and how we are in the world. Ask yourself, “…what would love do?”and use that as your compass to navigate when negativity would grab hold of you. Fear creates violence and fear will always come knocking, so will anger and every other emotion that brings us into our lower nature. But you see, you can choose to continue to let fear and its buddies in, or you can choose to say “.. you know what fear, I’ve bought what your selling for so long, and it never gives me what I need and want, and in fact, I always feel worse, so, I’m gonna have to say no thanks!” Then redirect your focus the other way to feel and recognize the goodness and love that is available to you in every moment, just a choice away. If other people can win this battle than so can you, again, there is no excuse, you are made of the same stuff and have the same opportunities inwardly as everyone else.
I remember reading about Viktor Frankl, a survivor from a concentration camp, who chose, even in that most horrific display of the absolute worst, darkest spectrum humanity could sink into, to see beauty and love, and come out of that experience still loving humanity. That blew my mind, and I said the same words to myself that I have written here, I have no excuse to not put every effort, of every moment into learning, healing and growing within myself to rise to that highest platform of what humanity is capable of.
There is no half way here, we either commit to go all the way, through the bumps and storms, holding our North, which is Love, strong and steady, or not at all. The journey is what counts. You will fall short many times, we all do, that’s part of the process, what matters is that you learn and grow, redirecting your course each time. This is not a journey of perfection; it’s a journey of participation. It’s a journey of evolution, growth and discovery.
So what are you waiting for? It’s time to let your light shine in service to life and each other, to anchor joy on earth and bloom heaven in your hearts. Blessings to you, may your light and love grow beyond your wildest dreams.
And remember…
Love Always Prevails!!!
All above articles written by Luannah Victoria Arana 2012.
I call on all humanity; I call on you, to step into service, to be Ambassadors to the Highest Good that we as human beings can embody. I challenge you to be and give the best of you always. To turn your head on selfish pride and power tripping ego, to embrace the strength of Grace and Goodness as the tools for creating change and conflict resolution. I dare you to let yourself be touched by the beauty of life that the walls around your heart dissolve and the entangled knots in your mind become undone so you can again meet life in innocence and trust. I dare you to muster the courage to take the time to unload all your fears and worries, to really test the validity of the claims they have convinced you of, and recognize the possible falseness they represent and the violence they perpetuate. Emotional fear is always the worst consultant.
I wish for you to feel and reconnect with the innate intelligence that governs the cycles of life, to connect to the natural laws of nature and remember that you are one with nature and subject to the same cycles and laws. There is enough science to validate that basic truth. There is enough science to validate that our thoughts affect reality. There are more than enough examples of human beings who have risen above tyranny, ego and fear to show it is possible to do so, that it’s not a pipedream or delusion, that we can change and create a better life and better world. There are enough books and teachings on empowerment, quantum physics, healing and human potential that have been read by millions of people, utilized and validated, that there is no excuse for there to still be so much victimization, intolerance, tyranny and violence in families, work places and government. We have the knowledge of what we need to do to help each other to create a healthy vibrant world. We know better now than ever before in human history, we need to turn that knowing into action.
It’s not enough to have only a handful of humanity being the examples that we look up to, who we turn into celebrities, applauding their greatness. That same greatness is a seed of potential in you waiting to be nourished to grow and flower through you. The world needs you to choose the world you want to create and do the work to make it happen. To be persistent, determined and committed to follow through with what’s needed to make it happen. Awaken from the numbing slumber of “assumptions and superficial ideas”, and go deeper, engage curiosity and wonder to see if you really do know what you think you know.
This is not a new message, but an ancient one that is still calling us to listen because we obviously haven’t yet, otherwise this world would be very different. Are you willing and ready to listen and rise to your highest and best potential as a human being?
There is no time for complacency anymore. Yes, it is hard at times, but that’s irrelevant, that it’s possible is what’s important to focus on. A Hawaiian principle called Makia- Focus, reflects this; where your attention goes, energy flows and that’s the reality that grows. That is a fact. Challenges and friction create the opportunity to grow, to stretch and expand ourselves beyond what we know and see to gain a vaster view.
We choose love or we choose hate. In every moment we make that choice in how we think about ourselves and others, and how we are in the world. Ask yourself, “…what would love do?”and use that as your compass to navigate when negativity would grab hold of you. Fear creates violence and fear will always come knocking, so will anger and every other emotion that brings us into our lower nature. But you see, you can choose to continue to let fear and its buddies in, or you can choose to say “.. you know what fear, I’ve bought what your selling for so long, and it never gives me what I need and want, and in fact, I always feel worse, so, I’m gonna have to say no thanks!” Then redirect your focus the other way to feel and recognize the goodness and love that is available to you in every moment, just a choice away. If other people can win this battle than so can you, again, there is no excuse, you are made of the same stuff and have the same opportunities inwardly as everyone else.
I remember reading about Viktor Frankl, a survivor from a concentration camp, who chose, even in that most horrific display of the absolute worst, darkest spectrum humanity could sink into, to see beauty and love, and come out of that experience still loving humanity. That blew my mind, and I said the same words to myself that I have written here, I have no excuse to not put every effort, of every moment into learning, healing and growing within myself to rise to that highest platform of what humanity is capable of.
There is no half way here, we either commit to go all the way, through the bumps and storms, holding our North, which is Love, strong and steady, or not at all. The journey is what counts. You will fall short many times, we all do, that’s part of the process, what matters is that you learn and grow, redirecting your course each time. This is not a journey of perfection; it’s a journey of participation. It’s a journey of evolution, growth and discovery.
So what are you waiting for? It’s time to let your light shine in service to life and each other, to anchor joy on earth and bloom heaven in your hearts. Blessings to you, may your light and love grow beyond your wildest dreams.
And remember…
Love Always Prevails!!!
All above articles written by Luannah Victoria Arana 2012.